Yesterday was an off-kilter difficult sort of day. Angry feelings toward ww, difficult people at work, and a late night trip to Walmart which I detest and which didn't have what I needed anyway. Again I'm glad to have this blog to have a place to dump my weight loss feelings. I can easily see where the pressure of all these unvoiced emotions would cause me to give up on any attempts to be more healthy. But even with my negative frame of mind yesterday there were some great things that happened.
First off, I wasn't hungry--that helps a whole lot! I had this spinach cottage cheese stuff from an indian restaraunt and boy, was it good!! Also the garlic naan bread. Heaven. We were all eating and reeking of garlic and discussing our book club book, when I realized that I was quite full! I actually put the lid on (literally) my container, and stopped eating. This is a huge step in the right direction for me. I was prepared to be disappointed at this morning's weigh-in because in my experience, if I feel full at all the previous day, weight loss doesn't show up on the next. But it did! I'm down another pound for a total of 7 since I began this venture on April fools. It does feel good--even if I hadn't lost on the scale I was prepared to remind myself how well I've done these past three weeks--and I have!! The most exciting thing is that I'm at the three week mark and still feeling strong and wanting to continue. I don't expect this feeling to last forever, or even very long, so I'll seize the good moment while it lasts and do everything I can to prepare to outlast the inevitable boredom and frustrations that are bound to come.
The other good thing was that I got to teach part 2 of my 'Rebel Dieter' class for the Clearfield community center. This is the deep stuff where ww either fears to tread or is completely oblivious to. I only had two students--a very cute mother and daughter, but I think I may have helped them. At the very least I think I encouraged some positive feelings about groups like overeater's anonymous--maybe my class will help them get there someday and make some changes. It felt wonderful to share some of the things I've learned over these past 5 years.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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