Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Monday, October 24, 2011

204 take it back

Okay, I take it back. 191 AGAIN. And I am a little discouraged. The very real part of me that wants to quit is SHREIKING "You haven't made any progress since JUNE!!!!".  Which is sort of true. I'm trying to remember what's also true---ahem---I've spent far more time down in the 180's than 190's in the last month. I can exercise again. Some things are becoming a little easier.  And so what if I have been sitting at 191 for months? Is that the worst thing? (YES!) No!!!!  I worked hard to get there--it's still a spectacuarly low weight for me--best in 20 years! And I've been maintaining it. OK. Deep breath. Keep fighting. This battle will take some time. It might take two or three years and that's ok because I'm changing my spirit along with my body.  I don't seem to be willing yet to compromise much with restaraunt food. I want what I want what I want.  This weekend I have the 1/2 marathon--which also means dining out the night before and right afer--then there is Lisa's Halloween party--I think I can be reasonable at the party. If nothing else I might not be willing to move from my chair to the table to get seconds. But I AM willing to fight between restaraunts. Maybe if I accept that I really love restaraunts.  I can begin to loosen my strangle hold grip on restaraunts---we do eat out a whole lot less than we used to thanks to the economy, but I really need to deal with going out and how to make better choices without feeling deprived.

Ummmmmmmm------coming up blank. I want to go to Olive Garden on Friday. I want the steak and gorgonzola, lots of breadsticks, salad and probably dessert. First off, this is perfectly ok to have. It's only not ok if I eat a massive lunch the next day and pig out at Lisa's party too.  I don't know what I'll feel like after the marathon or where we'll go--but I think I can maybe make ok choices if I feel good about Olive Garden first--I'll probably want protein and that's good. Plus, there's a good chance I might not be that hungry. Extreme exercise kills my appetite. There are such things as take out containers. I'll have Catherine remind me of that.

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