Today I did an AMAZING thing. I had ONE--count it, ONE piece of pizza for lunch. It was comical last night how long it took me to realize that having one piece (as opposed to two or three) was even an option. We had leftover pizza--I wanted some for lunch. In my mind two pieces is the absolute rock bottom serving that exists--but weight watchers attachs a 10 point value to each slice--ouch! and tonight the RS is feeding me a "light" dinner whatever that means, along with Christmas candy sampling and I knew I needed to save a fair heap of points to deal with that. I began last night by making a tomato cucumber salad--it turned out bigger than I expected. I slowly began to wonder if I could tolerate a lunch of just a salad and one slice of pizza. I added a double helping of olives and a little feta cheese. Then ever so slowly--like wheels turning that haven't been used in 50 years the thought slowly began to occur to me that I could take 4 wasa crisps with a little butter and garlic salt and that with the pizza and the big salad would be FAR fewer points than two or three slices of pizza, and might feel like an acceptable lunch. And so it was! Of course I'd still like four or five more slices of pizza--but actually, not really. Lunch felt reasonably plentiful. I'm not hungry--I like that I won't gain weight today, I like looking forward to Christmas candy, and I like the size 16 pants I'm wearing. I missed this size on the way up--we were in Japan when we were first married--when I left I was a 14 a year later coming home, I was a 20. Talk about depressing! I also like that for breakfast I had two crepes and a banana with chocolate peanut butter. I seem to be having a sweet tooth lately--it's nice to indulge it. I love light hot chocolate for 25 cal with ff whipped cream.
I'm still not up to my regular walking--but last night I did take a 1/2 hour walk that started off slowly and carefully, but by the end I was up to regular speed with no pain. I'm very pleased. It's been less than a week and I almost feel back to normal--the only problem is going down stairs. This makes me nervous for the marathon that starts with a steep downhill for 5 miles, but I'll just do all I can do. I see the physical therapist tomorrow.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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