Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Saturday, October 15, 2011

195 a 5K

Not counting today---I guess I'm still having a semi-tantrum about gaining weight. But I'm not going bananas---quite the opposite in fact.  It's just that I overslept and had to go clean the church. After that I wanted to see if my knee could tolerate a 5K walk.  YES!! But by the time I got back it was lunch time--I had a BLT, some olives, popchips (30 for 2 pts) and just a few cheese curds.  Now I'm taking a break from stats homework--I made myself some popcorn with olive oil (actually prefer it now to butter), and a little chocolate milk. Dinner will be tacos, I think I'll still be very much within points.  In the meantime there are a few thoughts simmering below the surface---simple thoughts---thoughts that everyone else seems to accept and take for granted. The idea that to lose weight I need to maintain a calorie deficit--the human body doesn't like deficits--if I'm in a deficit mode of course I'll feel unsatisfied sometimes---probably a lot of the time.  And here's the thought--it's ok.   I don't know if it's really ok in the face of a good brownie, but I'm beginning to want to regroup, make a real effort and see if I can't break 180 before Hawaii.  Do I really want to do this?
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