Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Thursday, June 16, 2011

fried balls of cheese!

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I've never paid attention before to how my moods fluctuate.  Yesterday was a bit of a down day--nothing serious--just a little tired, a little blue, and I think the idea of going down to SLC was oppressive.  Today is a brighter day.  Oddly, I don't think my moods impact my eating overall. That is to say--since EVERY mood triggers a desire to eat whether I'm happy or stressed or sad or whatever, it doesn't really matter what mood I'm in-if that makes sense. However, it's still very early in this new lifestyle.  Maybe one of the results is that I'll become much more aware of what's going on and how it affects me. 

ANYWAY---YIKES!  I was looking at the Aruba guidebook and it looks like a food disaster.  I have no idea how I'll cope with this! Cheese is my weakness and this island was settled by the Dutch. Deep fried balls of cheese are an island staple.  Uh oh.  Also spiced meat wrapped in cheese.  Even sitting here in the US without temptation in front of me, I don't feel particuarly inclined to practice moderation. How will I respond in the face of the deep fried cheese ball truck?  I truly don't want to throw away all my hard work.  I've worked too hard!  But it's unlikely that I'll ever get to Aruba again and I don't want to miss out on anything.

Ok--lets work on that statement "I don't want to miss out on anything."  Maybe it will help to remember that it's impossible not to miss out on food--in Aruba or anywhere else.  Even if I ate non-stop 24/7 (hey....) there would still be delicasies I would miss, and worse, if I found something I loved--I can't eat a lifetime's worth in a few days. No matter how much of whatever I eat--if I like it, I will still want it when I get back to the states.  It's impossible to eat so much of anything that I will never want it again---which I think is what I'm trying to do on some level. So it doesn't matter if I have one serving or ten or skip it altogether--the Aruba food will be out of my life when the trip is over.  This will cost me a small pang--as coming home from vacation always does--eating gargantuan amounts won't help with this---in fact, it will only make it worse.

I think that helps.  It would be super exciting if I could actually lose weight on vacation.  I think I'll make that my goal--it will help me not go completely crazy.

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