Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Thursday, January 8, 2015

No. Not a good diet day

Yesterday was simply not a good diet day at all. Between the colon blow, the heavy lunch and two cookies after dinner even I can't justify to myself that I made good choices.

I wonder why I find it so difficult to say NO?  Today we had an event at work, to my surprise, I was offered one of the lunches. I should have said no. I said yes. It was a ham sandwich and a cookie. Huh. Where were the chips? But just as well not to have them. I did take an honest look at the sandwich. I had planned to eat ham strata for 370 cal. In all honesty, I think the sandwich had about the same cal. So that was ok. I also warmed up some zero point soup and had an apple. All good. It was the cookie that did me in. In general, I call all cookies 120 cal. Not this one. This was a big one. I guess I'd better call it 220. I'd call it three hundred or even 350 except that last night I looked up mini-muffins. It seems to me that mini muffins are much less than half of a normal size muffin, but that is what the cookbook says. Ok. That means that Catherine's mini-muffins are going to count as 85 cal. Using that same reasoning the cookie I ate is only twice as big as a normal cookie? I mean, it wasn't one of those giant granny B type cookies, but it was big enough.  Oh well. Enough. I had a white bread sandwich and a cookie. Both terrible choices, but I'll stay within the calorie count.

In an hour I'm going to have the doctor look at my leg. I hope she figures something out. Better put in some gratitude--I'm sounding pretty whiney.

That so many contributed bags for the youth conference today
That it went well
That I finally finished the bills
That so far we can stay on top of the bills
For funny face book things
For my new Karen Harper book
That I was able to go to college
That I have a supportive husband
That harp is at 5 tonight
For our fireplace
For my health
That some of those nursery kids have moved on!
That there are those who are willing and able to do jobs that I have zero desire to do---K-12 teacher, accountant, police, soldier
For my drawing book
That every day is new.

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