Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Friday, January 2, 2015

New Year 2015

Happy New Year!!

Here I am again, more or less in exactly the same place where I was three years ago when I started this blog. This could be super discouraging were it not for Hollie's insights and re-definition of success. I mean really. Here it is, the start of a New Year, and yes, I will re-attempt to re-gain some control and lose weight. But I have literally been doing this for the past 40 years and have NEVER gotten to goal weight, or even close. So, no. I don't really believe I'll make it this year--which makes it much harder to stick to any plan. After all, why deprive myself if failure is certain?

So, what if anything, have I accomplished besides driving myself crazy?

I weigh less than I did when we came back from Japan in 1990. While there I gained 30 pounds. Held onto that for about 10 years then dropped about 25 of those pounds, to put me where I am today. While I still weigh much too much, this is FAR better than it might be otherwise. Lots of my friends from high school have fallen to middle age spread. I haven't--sort of. I had middle-age spread in high school so I still look about the same. But that's good!! All this effort HAS STOPPED THE TRAIN WRECK. Yes, I'm overweight and frustrated, but not nearly so much as I might be otherwise. I've been able to stay ahead of both aging, and increased crazy amounts of food that are offered anywhere. This despite poly-cystic ovary syndrome which slows things down.

This gives me hope for the future at least in the next life. I don't know if I'll be resurrected with a perfect sized body, but even if not, perhaps I'll at least have the metabolism I used to have in my teens. This effort in my teens would have pulled the weight off. Maybe, if I keep trying, I'll be rewarded.

Also---I can't measure what diseases I've slown down or prevented. Or how much exercise has helped in so many ways. I know that the holiday overeating and pounds are REALLY bothering my leg, so perhaps I'm keeping myself just on the right side of not being disabled.

SO---well worth making the effort, even if I am a living White Queen, always running as fast as I can just to stay in the same place.

Also---I've been back reading this blog and my so-called "effort" really is pretty lame. I really should be a great deal more grateful that I don't weigh 300 pounds. I really don't know why I don't.

Some gratitude for today

That I don't have 6 cats
Great performances
That Dave and C put the tree away today
That Christmas will come again
fireworks
My cool new calendar
facebook
That tomorrow is payday
That tomorrow is always a new day.

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