Brother. I've been feeling fat all weekend because my clothes were tight. Today I feel thin because my clothes are loose. Whatever!! I think overall I'm happy with last weekend. No doubt it was too much by way of calories etc, but it was what I know how to do and I didn't overdo what I knew--does that make sense? From here, I can learn to do better. One thing I learned (or began to) is that I can live without salad dressing. On Friday I got a slice of pizza and a ceasar salad. I forgot the packet of dressing and was too lazy to go back upstairs for it. I ate the salad dry and felt really good about it, because I knew the pizza and the breadstick already had plenty of calories, but without dressing the meal wasn't a total disaster. That night I didn't have pizza or go out, instead I had homemade crepes.
On Saturday, Dave was back and we went to Provo to get Catherine with the idea of going to the Renesannce festival at Thanksgiving Point. None of us had been before, but it was pouring rain so hard we had to pull off, so we had lunch at Zupas. I love their mushroom soup. We didn't go to the festival after all, instead we went to the dinosaur museum. Lots of fun! We were looking for a treat to eat, but the food was really boring. So we opted for ice-cream at the BYU creamery. I need to remember to order the child's scoop. The single scoop is ridiculously huge. Back home, I wanted something real, so I fixed us bacon, eggs and toast.
Yesterday was Dad's birthday. I instantly forgot about not needing dressing and glopped on the blue cheese. I think my real mistake there was 3 slices of garlic bread. I knew better. Was that justified because I was genuinely hungry? I dunno.
Today, I am STARVING. I don't know why. Maybe it's just hormones, but good grief!!! I've eaten plentifully and well! For breakfast I had a bowl of oatmeal with a whole peach and some nuts and a glass of milk. Snack was 1/2 sleeve of nuts and a big baggie of carrots. Lunch was a lean pocket sandwich, a whole can of progresso soup and a 100 cal bag of popcorn and 2 chocolates.
Snack again, because I'm starving is another whole sleeve of nuts. I have my class tonight and I can't wait to eat my meatloaf sandwich, olives and apple. I think I still have some yogurt in the fridge here. I'd better eat that too. Tomorrow I will not bring nuts. They are a good snack but not in huge quantities--today I've eaten about 400 cal in nuts alone. Too much!!!
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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