Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Friday, September 12, 2014

Didn't finish it all

Yesterday--attempting to eat less white stuff

Breakfast: Banana with PB2, wheat bagel thin with ICB, milk
Exercise: walk to work--good kettlebell workout
Snack: 6 slices deli ham with fat free cream cheese
Lunch: Whole can progresso tomato soup. Brought 15 kashi crackers (very healthy), got derailed by co-worker who brought the most magnificent pretzel rolls--the crackers didn't stand a chance. Had pretzel roll about 1 to 1.5 oz cheese and 1 cookie (I had brought two but was done)
Snack: sm drk chocolate
Snack: plum and some of those crackers
Dinner: New reciepe: Polenta--never made it before, just fried it up in a little canola oil. Had spaghetti sauce on top. 1/2 pretzel roll. Cabbage salad with feta and olives.

Miracle---didn't finish all my spaghetti and polenta. This is the plus side of not counting calories. I have only a rough idea of what last night's dinner was worth calorie-wise. I could have easily finished, but I realized that I was done both physically and psychologically. So I threw away what I didn't eat. When counting, I would have been darn sure to finish the whole thing.

Dessert: two cookies. Didn't need them. Ate them out of habit---although habit is here because I really like dessert, so yes, I wanted it. Could have eaten 10 but I really don't usually do that kind of thing (4 or 5 yes, but not 10).

Note---the day was really heavy on the tomatoes, but it didn't seem to be a problem. It would have killed Dave.

Question? So was this a good day? I don't think I will lose weight. In fact, I'm afraid it caused me to put on a little weight. BUT I think the food was pretty healthy overall. I was full and content. I was mindful enough to not eat both lunch cookies and not finish dinner, and not all of the kashi crackers either. But what it it was too much and I'll gain weight? SHUT UP SUE ELLEN!  What if I do? I am happy and beautiful AND because of that was able to make some good choices. Today I am happy and beautiful too and therefore am more likely to make good choices.

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