Ugh!! 205. However, some of that really is muscle from kettlebells and last nights buffet. I'm feeling very fat and dumpy (SHUT UP SUE ELLEN!!!!). It's okay. If I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to lose it the real way---by changing what I really can, and even though I'm unhappy with the way I look and feel right now, I think I AM making some progress that will eventually result in a healthy weight. I'll explain in a minute. And I'm going to try to be grateful for who and what I am. Sean just posted in great delight that he has reached 305 today!! I'm truly happy for him. And it is a great reminder that there are many out there who would be thrilled to weight what I do.
Anyway---yesterday
Breakfast: Bagel w cream cheese, 2 strips bacon, oj, milk
Exercise: Good workout. 18 laps and 228 kettle bell swings
Snack: 1/2 sleeve nuts
Lunch: 1 slice Papa John's greek Pepperoni pizza with a pan crust, cabbage salad prbly a 1/3 c blue cheese crumbles (felt like a lot) about 7 olives, sm. pretzel roll with butter. 1 square lindt dk sea salt choc.
Snack: low-fat oatmeal raisin bar.
Dinner: Chuck-A-Rama. UGH!! I had planned stuffed portobello mushrooms which are very healthy and I like them. But Dad called--he had to come up anyway and wanted to go to dinner. Chuck-a-rama is close (important when Dad is driving) and he likes it. I know I ate too many calories---but on the other hand, I didn't feel compelled to stuff myself silly. And I think that's the point! I ate until I was done both physically and psychologically, and to get to that point did NOT mean that I was groaning on my way out. I also didn't eat the sweet and sour chicken when it turned out not to be very good. That's a big deal--not eating something just because it's there. Here's what I remember that I ate:
First plate: The worst thing was probably the salad. I do love real blue cheese dressing and since I don't buy it for myself at home I tend to glop it on when I get a chance. Also lots of croutons.
some cornbread
1 BBQ chicken leg
1 coconut shrimp.
Second plate--plate not filled up:
about 6 more coconut shrimp with sauce
sliver of jello salad
sweet and sour chicken (uneaten)
Dessert; German chocolate cake (ate most of it, but left the middle once the frosting ran out. A tiny bit of applecrisp.
See? I don't think that's too bad for a buffet. But it's more than my body can handle and so I'll pay a price in pounds.
But I love that I wasn't compelled to just shovel it all in. There's hope yet!!
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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