Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

356 Meb

I've been reading an inspiring book by elite marathon runner Meb Kaf..... called, Run to Overcome. He came from an extremely poor African village--they had to escape TO Sudan if you can imagine. His father was determined that all of his children would get an education and, by using an amazing work ethic and faith they did just that. Meb was a naturally fast runner and by applying the same work ethic became Olympic class.

If I want to eat the 4 to 5,000 calories that Meb does everyday, all I have to do is to get up and run 20 or so miles in the morning, then spend a few hours in the gym doing hard workouts in addition to that seven days a week.  Bearing that in mind I feel very grateful that I can actually eat half that amount (or more!) without doing nearly half the work and still not weigh even twice as much as he does (He only weighs about 127). Truly our bodies fight on our behalf. I love reading stuff like that--it makes me want to be a better person.

The following paragraph is from caloriecount.com's daily email. I really like this about deprivation--I accept this in every part of my life except food and I'm working on accepting it in food as well.

All in all, your weight is not the reason why you overeat. We all overeat from time to time and there are similar triggers for both normal and overweight individuals. The key to losing weight and keeping it off is in understanding that deprivation is a part of life. You can’t always get what you want. You’re not always going to be full, happy, or pain-free, especially on the way to correcting years of inactivity and unhealthy eating. Learning to cope with this fact will help you accept who you are, move towards becoming healthier without a feeling that you're missing out on something. As you continue to make better decisions little by little, you'll gradually replace bad habits with good ones which will eventually lead you to feed your true hunger which only you, not food, can do.

Yes! My gosh---You can't always get what you want!  Maybe I should repeat this 50 times a day. Actually--reveals a bit of the problem. Truly--I can't get everything I want--I can't not go to work, I can't buy everything or do everything I would want to---buuuuuuuut.....I CAN (at least almost) get all the food I want. No wonder food is so seductive--some measure of restraint is forced upon me in all other areas--but food is rich and plentiful and abundant and nothing but self-discipline prevents me from eating 24/7. I need to re-read that paragraph right now! Repeat--it's OK to not feel satisfied every minute of every day. It's OK to say NO. It's better than ok, it's beneficial.  Whatever happened to the seven deadly sins? Gluttony was one of them after all.

No comments:

Post a Comment