Ok--yesterday went as planned except my trip to SLC was a short (and frustrating) one so I got to practice some harp and put in 5 miles on the bike. Today, back to 183. YAY!!! Today I'll be on track with lots of exercise, but tomorrow is a problem--PI day (March 14) and a potluck at work. I'm bringing little key lime pies to add to the disaster, but the real problem will be the pizza from the PIE pizzaria--the BEST pizza. Yikes---pizza, and lots of potluck goodies. My plan is a weak one---bring a salad and a banana in hopes of eating less than I might otherwise. At least one person is bringing PIneapple--so I can chow on lots of that I hope--but if they order cheesy bread from the pie---uh oh.
Also, I'm having an odd little encounter with jealousy of all things. My good friend's daughter is on a mission in Chili. This is a simply terrific girl--not fat, just on the heavy side. She mentioned that she's lost 18 pounds. Part of me is honestly happy for her, but the other part ISN'T! What on earth?! Do I feel as though she hasn't earned it? (baloney--she's working very hard down there--I served a mission, I know how hard that is). Do I want to be the only one on earth to succeed---thereby making my own success seem all the greater? (partly--maybe, but a huge part of this blog is the hope that other real people out there will know they can succeed too and do it without extreme measures) Maybe I'm just frustrated with myself and the slowness of my own journey---since I haven't actually SEEN her work and sacrifices, all I see is a magic 18 pounds lost--maybe I feel a little cheated? I think that's it. Yes, that is it. Plus, my family is discouraging and my Mom isn't going to make it much longer. Maybe I just want a little company in misery or something. Ridiculous, but real all the same.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
No comments:
Post a Comment