Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

355 Almost normal day

Back to work--I think everyone is relieved once they get talking to me over with the first time. Everyone is being very sweet and I appreciate it. I was here just a week ago but it feels like a lifetime--and it feels good to be back. On the whole this entire experience of death has been a kind and good one. But it IS nice to have a normalish day today with no unusual errands--just extra emailing and phone calls and choosing some flowers. I'm at work--it's a beautiful day and I walked, I want to run to the library after work, then fix dinner and relax with Dave. Food-wise is also normalizing again--I made my "baseball rolls" last night. Food went like this:
Breakfast--BB roll with butter, cottage cheese and peaches, diet hotchocolate.
Snack--about 1/3 of a package of trail mix
Lunch--a BB roll with butter, slice of cheddar cheese, 6 olives, 6 slices deli roast beef with cream cheese, lipton cup of soup. A slice of chocolate orange.
Dinner---probably spaghetti--heavy on the veggies, another roll (those things are addicting) and I might make a hungry girl chocolate peanut butter bread pudding.

I've been surprised at how physically exhausting all of this is. Yesterday I went to lunch--bought a few Easter things and just passed out at home. I was just thinking that I should take another walk tonight--I need to build up my mileage for the half marathon on April 21, but I think a full workday is enough--I'll rest tonight and work on mileage tomorrow.

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