Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Wednesday, May 9, 2012

403 Track and brownies

Whoops! I must have missed yesterday. Sorry about that. Catherine did come up, and since the treadmills were full I thought I'd try the track--reasoning that it was a nice squishy surface as opposed to concrete. It worked! At least my knees felt as good as they do on the treadmill. I ran TWO miles without stopping!! I am darn proud of that. My pace is still super slow--it was about a 13 minute mile, but that pace is fast enough for the Disneyland half-marathon someday--just 11 miles more!

Yesterday was poor exercise wise--come to think of it, it was poor overall. I had to drive because I had my annual checkup--so health kudos for that at least. Then I couldn't work on the lazy man because I had a bunch of plants that needed to go in the garden. I rushed home, did gardening for half and hour then went to the RS activity. Oh my! They did a beautiful job! Especially with the food--little chicken salad crossaints, cucumber sandwiches, tortilla wraps with swiss cheese, little really rich brownies and cream puffs (one virtue--I'm actually not to fond of cream puffs).  I ate plenty, then went home and gardened until well past dark, I hope that burned off a few calories at least.

The current plan is to just hold the line until Catherine leaves and then make another big push. I'd like to let go of another 10 or 15 pounds and then hold the line there for awhile before the final (that's an exciting word!) push to the goal.

Tonight Catherine's coming up and the plan is to swim 20 laps for iron man and dinner should be reasonable. I'm having a little trouble lately because we haven't been fixing food that produces lunch leftovers so I'm in a rut. Also, I'm doing a super boring project today so all I want to do is eat.  Gum is a good thing.

Monday, May 7, 2012

401 munch munch

A munchy day--and I've been thwarted because I've been on the front desk. I will survive--and I will not eat any more chocolate! I've already had two pieces--sheesh. AND some chewy lemon heads.  Otherwise the day promises to be a good one. 2 slices of homemade potato oatmeal bread for b-fast with a PB2 banana, a deli meat wrap with olives and pop-chips and a cup of soup and an apple for lunch with a 3 pt cherry choc chip granola bar for a snack. Catherine's coming up at 5 to run a mile or two on the treadmill with me. That will he--I just hope her student ID is still good.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

400 baked chicken and apple crisp

I'm rebelling against stretching becoming part of my life--I don't think I'll be growing old any too gracefully. I "biked" 10 miles last night and now my left leg is completely strung up. No matter--I'm going to stretch it (against my will) and bike 10 more tonight. Take that stupid leg! (To which my leg will no doubt reply--"ok, twaaaaang --snap).

Meanwhile, it's fast Sunday. Beautiful meetings. I love the church and I love my family. Tonight we're having a real feast, roast chicken with stuffing, mashed potatos, corn on the cob, baked beans and apple-crisp for dessert. No guilt, and tomorrow is another day to keep moving downward.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

399 Camping

Ugh! Gym closed yesterday. It was a smashing gorgeous day--but I really want to do these lazy man miles on the treadmill--I'm hoping it will build up strength so that I CAN run more easily on the sidewalks again. I wasn't able to make up the miles yesterday--we had planned to camp in the backyard. Tons of fun! We roasted hotdogs and made smore's over the firepit and then slept in the tent. I am NOT a natural camper. It was reasonably comfortable, but none of us slept well--so today we're all beat. No matter! Catherine wanted to go to SLC to shop and that's what we did. It was fun--albeit calorie-expensive. Gardiner's village with lunch at Archibalds--I had the potroast sandwich with fries and a cup of potato cheese soup. For dinner, Dad took us all out to Chuck-a-Rama. We try hard to avoid buffets, but I wasn't very hungry so I did ok. A big salad (although with real blue cheese dressing), and some roast beef and two small desserts.  I'm fine.  I'm going to bike 10 miles tonight, practice the harp and collapse.

Friday, May 4, 2012

398 Nutella cake

185.  Phew again. Thank goodness for the Lazy Man. I walked to work yesterday and I also ran a mile on the treadmill at 5 mph and then "biked" 5 miles on the exercise bike downstairs. I don't mean to be coasting until Catherine leaves, but it's hard not too. Tonight we're camping out in the backyard with hotdogs and smores and tomorrow we're going to SLC to play and then meet Dad at Chuck-a-Rama for dinner.  I'll do my best, but if I survive May by just holding it together I'll be very pleased.

Last night I had a happy reaction I think. Dave found a receipe for Nutella Mug Cake. Nutella is the food of the Gods in my opinion--but boy, is it a calorie disaster. This mug cake called for 4 tablespoons--or 400 calories of Nutella. Add to that the white flour, sugar and oil and YIKES!! I did point out to Catherine that this particular dessert was a horrible choice and she retorted that not everyone was on a diet. True. I do try hard not to shove this kind of stuff down her throat--but I did say, and better yet did honestly feel and believe that this dessert had nothing to do with a diet. NOBODY should eat this. Dave and C did make it, and I did have a taste, but no way was it good enough for the price in calories. Tonight calls for two miles on the treadmill--ipod is charged now so hopefully it will feel like a quick two miles. Or at least a quicker two miles.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

397 doing ok

Still within the bounds of normal, although I confess I dread facing the scale tomorrow. Yesterday was one of the few days where I didn't blog because I was working on other things--I can almost always make time for this blog. My sister's portion of Mom's money has been left under the care of my other sister. I'm trying to help them both out by hammering out how I at least, think the trust should be administered. It's quite a document--I hope it helps them.  It helps ME anyway, because my thoughts are now on paper instead of rattling around in my head.  We got the appraisal back from Mom's house today--disappointing that it's not more--I'm definitely suffering from a sudden attack of greed.

Anyway--food-wise. May I just say, that I hate portion control.  Sheesh.  I opened a frozen Smart Ones breakfast of pancakes and sausage. It was cute. Exactly what I would have fed any toddler. Exercise-wsie things are going well--beautiful weather, so I've been walking to work. My start for the Iron Man has been slow, but I did 5 miles on the bike last night, and will run a mile on the treadmill before my harp lesson today.  Both extra good, because I wouldn't be doing either one without the iron-man.  Catherine continues to plow on with Jillian's 30 day shred. Tough little workout that!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

395 Anniversary!

Feeling better about myself and life in general today. Yes, I can do this and yes, everything will be fine.  I'm glad I feel more cheerful today because yesterday marked the worst day of eating in the past year. Not calorie-wise, but nutrition-wise. Yuck. Breakfast was two slices of delicious homemade sourdough with a reasonable amount of cheese broiled on top. I had a banana for a snack--so far, so good.  Lunch was horrible in every way. Down with Teriayki Stix--Blech. I didn't look closely enough at the menu to realize that the bowls didn't automatically come with veggie. I had low-grade orange chicken--probably deep fried and treated to death on a bed of white rice and that's all. It was the most unappealing meal I've ever seen. For once I really was more interested in my friend more than the food. I picked at it and had an apple when I got back to the office. Family crisis erupted at 4:30--appetite canceled for the rest of the day. Thank goodness our health isn't based on just one poor day.  Probably the easiest thing would be to just make contact with my family every day and solve my weight loss problem once and for all.
 
Today it feels good to get back to something normalish. Cream of wheat with Mom's raspberries for breakfast, wasa bread and laughing cow cheese for snack, HG deep dish spinach pizzas for lunch with a cabbage salad. We're going to soak in the mineral pools at crystal hotsprings and go out to eat for our anniversary today--23 years!!.  So, not a great day with food, but at least I walked to work and tomorrow should be a better day.