Hello again,
Years later and still the same problem. Have I learned anything? Probably not. But I did a crazy thing. I joined Healthy Wage last September and made a bet. I bet $50 a month until November 2018 (14 months total) that I would lose 36 pounds. If I win I get $1,700 that I will put toward a trip to England. If I lose--then I lose the $700. As overall motivation it's not doing much, but it is motivating me enough to start a real effort today. I lost three pounds in September which is on track--just three pounds every month will get me there with room to spare. I cheerfully derailed during the holidays (Basically Oct 1 thru Jan 1), but gained less than I deserve. That's a double edged sword. I feel that I gain less than I deserve, but I also lose less than I deserve. I should be grateful for my nice weight-stable body, but usually I'm just annoyed. I'm annoyed today. My feeling is that I can eat whatever I want and be this weight. OR I can sweat and starve and be this weight.
My brain knows that this is not true, but I have such a hard time believing it. ANYWAY--the Healthy wager does NOT get me to my dream weight, but only to a hopefully doable 171. Even I should be able to maintain that.
Here's the current plan which will be in effect until Nov 4 which is the last day I can win my wager.
Nov. 1 isn't forever away. As fast as time is flying by it will be Nov 4 tomorrow. This plan is NOT for the rest of my life (I hope). It is to guide me to the plan that I DO want to follow for the rest of my life, which is intuitive eating. I just can't quite do that yet, and I'm telling myself that it's ok. If I had a goal to run a race but I had a broken leg, then I would need to wear a cast and use crutches. This plan is my crutch---uncomfortable, boring, itching and annoying, but necessary.
The exercise part is easy--or will be if I can get past these stupid injuries. I had a bout with plantar facitis (sp?) and now I've thrown out my back. Luckily, walking makes my back feel better. I joined Lady Fitness last summer. The workouts are too high impact for me and I was getting hurt, but I can and do use the treadmills and elipticals. I also want to use the weights more regularly so that I build muscle and prevent my metabolism from crashing to a standstill. I've also discovered yes.fit. These are virtual races that I can complete at my own time and at my own pace. I LOVE these. I've already walked 104 miles around the Ring of Kerry in Ireland, did the Headless Horseman race (about 22 miles), a turkey trot, and am now walking in virtual Thailand for the Tortoise creep (155 miles). The website sends me pictures of where I virtually am at almost every mile, and sometimes links to websites if I walk by something famous. At the end they send beautiful medals and also t-shirts if you order one. I make little booklets of all the races with all of the pictures they sent me. I love these as much as the medals. Also, our new house is right by some of the most beautiful walking trails on earth, so that's a lot of fun.
The food part is a drag, but I want to tough it out till November because I really want to go to England!! 1700 calories a day. Hopefully emphasizing fiber and protein, but not worrying too much if some days emphasize refined sugar and fat. One day a week (probably Sunday) I will not count calories, instead I will try to live how I really want to live as an intuitive eater. Bod E Talk is the best online program I've ever seen. It's intuitive eating with a ton of support. I joined last year and lost a little (got derailed by some incredibly high stressors). On this day I will do my best to eat when I'm hungry (and not until I am hungry), stop when I'm full and go to bed just a little bit hungry. I will also give myself one cheat meal every week so I don't go insane. If I ever feel like just being told what to eat I can do a Flavor Point day, or whatever quack diet strikes me at the time.
Rewards. When ever I hit one of my 3 pound goals--I'm working on October's goal now--I'm going to buy myself some kind of clothing. When I catch up to myself and hit the goal on the month I originally planned to hit it on, I'm taking myself to Hogle Zoo and buying myself something. I know the Zoo is a weird clothing goal to have, but every time I go, I love the shirts and sweaters but I never buy them because the prices are ridiculous.
There will be a couple of happy problems to overcome--a Disneyworld trip in Spring and a trip to Thailand in the summer. Hopefully, I will have lost a little before these events and will have some momentum. Intuitive eating will be the way to go during these times.
And really, the food is not too bad---I also have self given permission that if I'm ever super hungry, I can eat a banana, and/or a packet of oatmeal and/or a quest bar in that order.
I probably won't post food every day here---heck, I don't even know if I'll blog every day. But here's today.
Breakfast--a big bowl of oatmeal with 1/2 apple, pecans and raisins (flavor point reciepe)
lunch--brown rice, veggies with grilled Koran pork and a veggie egg roll
Dinner--during break in class--baguette with butter and really good cheese, 1/2 apple and almonds and m&ms.
All this adds up to about 1500 cal so I can have a cookie when I get home if I want.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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