Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Tuesday, March 24, 2015


I like not counting calories or having every morsel prescribed for me. But I don't trust myself or the system. Am I really eating fewer calories? Enough to lose weight? I don't know. But I think if I stay the course I'll definitely be healthier. I'm trying hard to remember the part about stopping when I'm full.  Also, visualizing throwing away food--which I did this morning. I had eggs with the egg burrito topping and it was FILLING.  (I also had 3 pieces of bacon which I am not mentioning here).  I threw away a good part of the eggs. It's 11:00 and I'm still full, but that doesn't mean I don't want to eat--I don't even know what I would want, it's just a new weird feeling to not want food, but want to eat out of habit. That's just something to keep working on.

Last night I tried making a new soup. Not great. I won't make it again, but I'll bring it tomorrow for a healthy snack. Because it wasn't great, I stopped eating a little earlier than I might have otherwise. I had a reeses egg for dessert. I was genuinely hungry last night, which is unusual for me. I had a small glass of milk and called it good.

Keep on! keep on! Lunch will be good today. leftover wontons! YUM! plus brown rice--so far is normal for me. I also added a slice of cheese--not a great choice, but normal for me. What is more unusual is adding the tomato and onion salad just for the purpose of adding more veggies. The idea is that with the tomato salad I will not need as much of the other stuff. But that means I have to stop when I'm full. Tricky! But I can do it. The thing I don't want to do that I'm afraid of is eating everything as usual PLUS a bunch of extra calories from grains and veggies. Healthy, yes. But buffalo eat plenty of grains and I don't want to look like that!

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