Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Saturday, October 25, 2014

THE choice

Nice that the internet at home is working again! But that's really no excuse. I have the computers at work and the laptop if I really need it.

Basics. Basics. Basics. How can something so simple be so difficult to remember????

Here are my choices concerning food and weight:

1. Control myself by gentle methods. Keep learning about nutrition. Keep learning to stop when I'm full, keep adding movement to my life. The results----I never have to weigh, count or worry. I never have to be hungry. Probably slow weight loss--although it might pick up as I get better at this.

2. Control myself by outside means. Weight Watchers, my own plan, calorie counting or whatever. The results--excitement at the beginning, crashing boredom soon to follow. Faster weight loss until I inevitably quit.

3. Don't choose. Eat whatever, whenever. Enjoy instant gratification all the time. Bemoan that I can't live this way and still look good. Scary---who knows how heavy I am capable of becoming?

The thing that's so hard to remember is that choice number three never evolves into choice number 1. At no time will I ever "get tired" of food. I can't. I need it to survive.  The thing that's so hard about choice number 1 is that I WILL have to exercise self-denial--A LOT. The plan is gentle, but it's not choice number 3. It's hard to see how to stop temptation. What if I want a chocolate chip cookie? Well, that's fine----maybe. Have I already eaten a lot that day? Especially sweets? Have I exercised? How many or how big is this cookie?

----NEW INSPIRATION---this is just like parenting! Good parents do not operate on auto-pilot. They set limits, but are open to change when it makes sense to change. That is hard to do! I get tired. I get unsure. I just want things to be easy, but it isn't. Children's problems, like cravings come at inconvenient times, when I'm least equipped to deal with them rationally.  Okay! I can accept this. This is what life is all about. God's plan is all about free will. It's Satan who wanted to force us all to be good.
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I will need a lot of help to really do choice number one. First off, I need to be consistent with a food journal. I also think I need a frequent visual reminder about what I'm doing. I need to carefully think about and set my guidelines.

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