Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Smaller cheesecake

Some victories yesterday. I'm sure hoping that slow and steady really does win the race.

Breakfast---thin bagel with chive and onion cream cheese, milk w soy, oj.

Lunch--omlette, w 1 egg and 3 egg whites, spinach, jalapeno, a laughing cow cheese, a whole can of mushrooms, 1 slice ezekiel bread, 2 sausages, diet hot chocolate.

---Lunch was a very deliberate healthy choice because I knew that dinner would not be healthy at all.

Dinner---gyro plate from Jims burgers. Lots of fry sauce, I added a little feta cheese too.  Finished most of dinner then suddenly realized that I was full. Really full. I could have finished the meal and part of me wanted to, but instead I closed the lid, had a couple bites of Daves cherry shake, and threw the rest away.

Dessert---WAITED for dessert. I wanted the little brownies that my professor brought to class, but I wanted cheesecake more. Came home late, and would have been fine without cheesecake, but I didn't want to skip it, because for now I need to nail down in my mind that I really can have what I want. BUT, I didn't just divide the cheesecake into 2 pieces as originally planned. I cut two small pieces for us, and there's still some left over.

My knee is finally getting better. I'm able to walk at a pretty normal speed now, although downhill and stairs still hurt. I'm going to the doctor today and am going to ask for physical therapy.

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