I did very well yesterday. I knew dinner was going to be a disaster, but I don't think it was any more of a disaster for me than it would have been for any other skinny person, and it only took the peer pressure of 7 people to accomplish it! Addicition is a weird thing. Even as I type that, I'm wondering how I can justify having 2 pieces of pizza for dinner tonight?
But first---for breakfast I had some cottage cheese, a peach and a slice of ezekiel bread with I can't believe it's not butter (when I say butter, I always mean ICB unless otherwise noted)
Lunch--a BLT minus the T on ezekiel bread, 4 olives, a pickle some carrots and 2 chocolate almonds.
Snack--a glass of milk with some soy milk mixed in.
So far, so good. Not hungry, and a good mix of food. Then it was time to play How to Host a Murder. I LOVE playing these, and I am the culprit who set up the whole party. It was a glamourous movie theme, but our house is far too small to have 6 people over for dinner and a game, so we had to have it in one of the classrooms on campus. That meant no oven. We compromised by ordering pizza and calling it fancy names. Everyone dressed up, and nobody went back for seconds, so I didn't either, even though I wanted to. The thing is that hungry-wise, I was FINE with the following:
1 glass Martinelli sparking cider
about 4 small glasses of "punch"--raspberry sherbet w diet 7-up
1 piece chicken ranch pizza from the Pie (really good)
2 bread sticks
1 smallish salad with blue cheese dressing
1 large piece of pumpkin praline cheesecake
6 or 7 after dinner mints--the kind with chocolate in the middle.
Sigh. That is PLENTY of food and even my body agreed it was plenty. Left to myself, I would have eaten another piece of pie, more salad and several more breadsticks. Moderation is HARD for me. But I want to persist, because I love the idea that I really can have all the good things I had yesterday. Right now it's 3:30 on a Sunday afternoon, and I'm not in the least hungry. I'd sure like a large......bowl of popcorn, piece of pizza, hunk of cheese, milk and cookies...pretty much anything. But, since I'm NOT hungry, and I'm NOT on a diet, and I DO want to finish cleaning up the party, I think I'll be able to pass.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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