Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Tuesday, September 18, 2012

548 Holding steady

Yesterday was a weird day. We had a 4 hour meeting in the middle of the afternoon. I thought they were feeding us lunch, but they weren't--so I grabbed a hamburger before the meeting. Man, Weber really needs to beef up its food court. I'm not liking this trend of sitting in half-darkness watching powerpoints for hours. Especially for 4 hours when the topic is computer stuff. Halfway through we broke for snacks. I wasn't hungry, but I WAS bored. I knew I was bored, and I deliberately had a plateful just to keep myself awake. It wasn't bad stuff, and I tried to emphasize the veggies. Also, I noticed that all of my skinny co-workers had some too. I suppose it would have been better not to eat since I wasn't hungry--or to have stuck solely with the veggies (roast beef and cheese were the other two big items). But it's nice to know that I'm holding steady at 190. I feel fat and as heavy as a rock, but I'm keeping at it. I didn't eat breakfast today until I got to work and was hungry for it. I had lunch after my class and tonight, I'm taking two sweet ladies from the ward out for ice-cream. It's good to feel as though I CAN take them out and it's not blowing my diet. I'm also beginning to want things that are fiber-heavy and substantial--less sugary. Wouldn't it be great if THAT took hold!?

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