Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Thursday, September 6, 2012

536 No so bad

Ok. 190 still. Not SO frightful. Only 7 pounds up from the WW low. That makes me feel a little better and also more willing to eat right. I want to sign up for the 1st part of an IE class here. What I NEED is the second part where they talk about application, but I'll be in Disneyworld overindulging in both exercise AND food. The watchword of the day--or rather the past several days is "Let it go". I CAN let it go--the part of the sandwich I don't want, the second helping I don't want, the ice-cream I'm not in the mood for, the cookies at the party I'm not in the mood for---regardless of the occasion (christmas chocolate??!!!) I CAN let it go. The other thing I can let go of? Fat. Nowhere is is written that I must be fat. It is engrained in my identity, but neither of my parents was fat. Both were good looking. I can be good looking too!!! I have the genes for it!! I CAN let go of the past, I CAN live in the present and be open to being a slim middle aged and older person. Why not? I have all eternity to live. I CAN live it in the normal shape I was meant to have all along. I CAN stop sabotaging my own efforts. Saying "no" to some food or large amount does not mean I'm on a diet or that I "can't" have it. It means I either don't want it--or I choose not to have it in the same way I might choose not to buy something I want and there might be many reasons that drive that decision. I dont need to overanaylize or worry. I can just LET IT GO.
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