Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Sunday, June 10, 2012

436 Dip and Chinese

I thought I'd written about yesterday---I did, but it was as an email to someone so it doesn't count as a blog post. Yesterday went well--there wasn't much at the BBQ that I felt compelled to inhale except for the Lays chips and dip made with real sour cream. Oh yum. I need to make sure I have this more often so I don't feel the need to abuse it. In fact, I think I will make a point of having it on the 4th of July. Today also went very well with 1800 cal. I had my normal Sunday morning pancake and milk---thanks to weight watchers for helping me to become accustomed to ONE pancake--not a whole stack. That was 300 cal. For lunch I had a nice chunk of artesian bread, a cabbage salad, some fancy olives a cup of soup and some cheese curds. Dinner was sweet and sour pork from the Lion House cookbook, 1/2 cup of rice and three potstickers. That even left enough calories for dessert--1/2 cup light ice-cream with some chocolate sauce a little coconut and walnuts and lite whipped cream and a 100 cal pack of fudge stripes. That sounds like a lot of food--it is and it isn't. Yes, it's a lot, but it's far less than I would have eaten if I hadn't been counting. I would certainly have had more bread, cheese, rice, potstickers and made popcorn too. Right now, I'm lightly satisfied, but what's important is that I'm MENTALLY satisfied. I feel as though I ate abundantly and richly. I need to be careful not to let the exercising go to pot. I didn't do much yesterday and hardly anthing today. Tomorrow is hard as well because I'm driving to work so I can drive directly to SLC afterward. Working on Mom's house is work, but not a workout--it should be, but the fact is that I'm just plain not as vigourous a house cleaner as I need to be in any sense of the word. On other beauty fronts I colored my hair for the first time in my life today! Zsuzsi enlightened me about "semi-permanent" color--this stuff will wash out in 6 weeks so I don't need to pay big bucks at a salon for the rest of my life and I wasn't going to be committed to something I hated if it didn't work. But it DID work!! It's just my natural color--maybe just a smidge darker, but it covers up the gray. Also--to keep myself on track and working toward REALLY solving my weight problem and not just pretending to work hard on it. I think I'm going to take the 12 step book to work and do a little each day there. I can always bring it home if I sense a huge emotional upheaval coming on, but it's important to keep working even if lamely on the problem.

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