UGH! I have NOT lost any weight, inches or anything else. Not surprising considering I've been eating more than even the Lean and Free program suggests most of the time. I am feeling sorely tempted to join weight watchers again. People, even me, DO lose weight on the program. And I DO want to lose weight, but blech. They've rolled out a new program which boils down to now you have to watch carbs in addition to everything else. Sounds annoying. The bottom line is that I know I'll be both hungry and bored. Can I accept that I'll be hungry and bored for the length of time it would take to lose the weight? And what about afterwards? I don't want to make a huge effort and then gain it all right back because I never addressed the addiction. WW is mighty reticient about what happens after a person loses weight. Dave's "maintenence" plan is as blah as the original diet. A few more points. Oh whoopee. Maybe after I actually hit my goal weight I can slowly morph onto a more Lean and Free type of lifestyle? SLOWLY would be the key there. On the other hand--how about just following the Lean and Free program now but up the excercise and do it faithfully? ---well. There seems to be a bit too much freedom perhaps--more than I can handle anyway.
The tempting things are that 1: my insurance would actually pay for it. 2. I would lose weight (my husband lost 50 pounds!), 3. I'm going to Aruba in the summer and Hawaii at Christmas--it sure would be fun to be thinner. 4. I really am afraid of diabetes. 5. Maybe if I actually stuck to it my body chemistry would change and I would beat the addiction. 6. I hate the way my clothes are fitting now. Dave bought me some beautiful clothes two years ago that almost fit. I want them to really fit. 7. What if I did WW 6 days a week and had one day to eat as I please? 8. I at least respect the recipies ww comes up with. REALLY good.
Is this a sell out? YES!! I don't WANT WW to be the way to lose weight!! I'm actually teaching a seminar in a few weeks about addressing the core psychological issues that keep us fat. Joining pre-digested programs like WW make it difficult to discover those issues because you can just follow blindly along until the diet self destructs. I'm rationalizing that if I do join I would be an online member (the meetings in Ogden are less than inspiring to put it mildly), and I would also join Overeater's Anonymous again. THOSE are the people who really have the answers.
I'll talk to Jennifer at work tomorrow. I think she's a member. Maybe she'll reveal the great mystery number of how many points I would get before I join up. I also want to know how many points I'd get at my goal weight. (of COURSE they don't tell you that until you pay up first! How silly to even think they would!)
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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