Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Monday, March 7, 2011

creme brulee

Yesterday was the first day I missed posting on this blog. Pure poor time management--my art assignment isn't done either and neither is Catherine's dress.  I'm sad I also didn't get today's meals figured out.  It DOES take time.  I've prepared to make good decisions, but it would be nice to know I'm on track rather than just hope I am.  Oh well, tomorrow is a brand new day and I started today with chocolate chip walnut banana muffins (good and good for you), so it's difficult to complain about life. 

I'm missing not knowing how I'm doing.  I'm not really weighing in and I didn't take my starting measurements.  I might hop on the wii to see if my BMI has changed but I'm kind of avoiding that in case nothing's changed.  I know all the hoopla about goal setting and I believe in it too--just not in the weight loss world for me.  I play major mind games and the result is always self-sabotage.  This time I'll see where ignorance gets me, and look for other changes. :)  One change was that fasting yesterday was much easier than it's ever been before.  It felt nice.  I broke the fast around 5 pm, but more because I needed to taste  what I was cooking than because I was desperate for food like I usually am. 

I'm sensing two things--first---I should (and want to!) keep up with what I'm doing.  I feel really satisfied and I think my body is beginning to relax a little and trust that it's going to get what it needs.  It's going to take my mind a little longer to relax probably before I really trust myself not to get impatient and go on an "real" diet again.   The other thing is that I need to do more than just my walking.  The walking is great and keeps me baseline healthy, but I think if I want to lose weight I'll simply have to get moving a bit more vigourously a couple of times a week at least. I'll start tonight by doing that little strength training routine from the walking class.  Later this week I'll try and get in a video workout of some kind too. 

Today's menu (maybe I'll figure out the exact fat/cal when I get home and see how well or not I did) is plentiful and yummy.  Muffins, cottage cheese and cantaloupe with milk for b-fast, a snack of yogurt, leftover homemade pizza (four slices), salad, applesauce and a pudding cup for lunch, Samosa sandwiches (meat filling in a pizza crust) with a lime/honey dip and fruit for dinner.   Oh! and Creme brulee!  That's actually from last night, but we need to have it more often!  It's rich and expensive sounding but actually quite calorie and fat friendly.  Plus we get to play with the family blowtorch.  Can't beat that!

No comments:

Post a Comment