Feeling much more kindly disposed toward food today. Last night's dinner helped--hooray for weight watchers recipies. I have issues with their program obviously, but I do love the community and the wealth of great recipies that they generate. Last night I made chicken rolled up with ham and cheese, and a ww german potato salad that was simply terrific---it involved onion fried up in bacon grease and oil so you know that was good!
The weather's been nice, so I've been able to walk to work (both ways yesterday and today) and I did actually do the strength training the other night so that was good too. Other positives from yesterday---I made at least two intuitive decisions--around lunch I really was hungry so I really did eat. At dinner those chicken rolls were pretty big and I was able to realize at one point that I was full enough that to eat the rest would actually take a little effort, so I saved it for today's lunch. A good step! On the down-side was the pre-dinner nibbling. I don't think that's intuitive eating--that's just unconscious and a dumb way to really pack in a lot of calories. One thing to work on---I am hyper aware of every thing I might pass up, but I think I'm often unaware of everything I don't pass up. Hence the deprivation stays high and the satisfaction stays low. I think skinny people have that exactly flipped around. I've heard endless thin people claim they've "eaten so much" when, if you really look, they've eaten four bites of sandwich, a pickle and two potato chips. Since they are unaware of just how much they've just passed up (hello! there was fried chicken and melon and cookies!) because they can always come back and eat it later, they don't realize how little they've eaten. They only know they're full and happy and free to come back.
Not quite sure how to turn that around, but I think staying content is key. Actually, this morning, I only wanted one thin bagel with the veggie cream cheese, but I packed the cinnamon toast crunch cereal which I'm snacking on now just an hour later.
Gratitude-wise--I am VERY grateful for fundamental good health today. One acquaintance from work (nicest lady in the world!) is quite heavy and has had one of her legs amputated already (I don't know what the problem was), she's back in the hospital to have some more leg removed because of infection. I don't know if any of her troubles are weight related but the weight can't be helping. Another lady in my church is terribly overweight and has all kinds of health problems--definitely related to weight--she's having open heart surgery next week. I'll be surprised if she survives. I've been very very lucky--not much the matter with me so far, so thank you to my good and beautiful body for giving me 46 good years despite the way I've treated you.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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