Oh wow. No wonder I'm having trouble and am tempted by weight watchers. I've been keeping this blog for just over a month and in that time these are the food problems I've encountered. This is only what I wrote down, by no means every poor choice I've made--here we go.
Wildcat room lunch, movie popcorn, roast beef (very high fat), cheddar biscuits, cherry pie, pancake day, Maddox, Saudi Arabian dnner, Funeral lunch, two overeats of pizza, Executive lunch, choc milk-popcorn and cheese, too many waffles, McCools, Girl Scout Cookies, burger fries and lots of fry sauce, work pot-luck, rebellious off-program weekend.
OK. Can I even picture myself making different choices? The burger and fries are a good example--my co-worker on ww, went upstairs that same day and bought a turkey hogi and baked chips. I could have done that, but I simply did not want to. CAN I really do this? CAN I say no to myself??? I seem to be able to use reasonable self-disipline in other areas of my life. Can I do this with food? My history says no, I can't. I'm going to go through each and every one of those problems in my mind and see if I can't visualize making a different choice. In April--there is my birthday, a mystery dinner, a retirement dinner and Easter just for starters.
I've been looking at weight watchers today. Yes, the insurance will reimburse, yes I can have access to the online recipe creator (they charge extra above the membership cost for the online--maddening--if you join online, then you don't get the materials--brother. They ARE a business.) I spoke to Jennifer. She gets 29 points--the lowest a person can get. Huh. Last time I joined I got 25. WITH the extra points they grant every week and WITH exercise points I could scrape by but it was really hard. And it's not like ww is really saying it's ok to have any more---what they give in free fruit they take away with the carbs. WOW--I really have some issues! Just listening to myself--"They" take away this or that--like ww is some evil entity determined to spoil my fun and make endless unreasonable demands. It's really the way it feels. I'm reminded of one of my favorite ZITS cartoons--the parents are just making conversation with their teen--"How was your day? Do you have a lot of homework?" etc. The teen is envisioning himself on the rack and other torture devices. A similar one is the parents laying down some very simple rules for summer and he feels bound and gagged by them. This is exactly how weight watchers feels to me. CAN I realize that the program is not designed to torture me, but to ENABLE me to accomplish something I've never been able to accomplish before? I feel like a lady in a hording show I saw once. This poor lady was having a complete meltdown because she felt as though everything was being taken away from her. That's just how I feel. In this ladies case--yes, about 98% of the junk in her house really did have to go. Food-wise I don't need to get rid of 98% happily, but I need to let go of FAR more than I think I do.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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