Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Thursday, March 3, 2011

No popcorn!

Well this is a first! After I signed off last night I had every intention of making some popcorn, but I had a shower first and since that's usually about the last thing I do at night I guess my body took that as a cue that it was bedtime and shut down the desire for popcorn.  Very weird.  I like this concept of eating until I'm full.  I have my day planned for tomorrow--but if I want another glass of milk for b-fast or an extra pizza muffin for dinner that's fine.  This is about the time I usually start wavering and wanting to quit on any "diet".  Sure enough, I've begun thinking about what I'm missing and I'm getting bored with writing things down.  But then I remember---it's fine.  I don't HAVE to write anything down if I don't want to--I LIKE eating fruit, veggies, grains, protein and water at every meal.  Tonight I made pineapple chicken and rice and frozen eggrolls.  It was about 8 before I got to eat any of it and part of my mind is still in typical "oh no, I'm on a diet" kind of thinking.  Ugh--chicken and rice--for dinner and I'm really hungry.  Then I remembered...I won't STAY hungry because I can eat as much as I need to until I'm full.  Plus, its a dinner I'd make even if I wasn't trying to watch anything--so, I'm ok.  Exercise a bit of a struggle--none yesterday, and almost none today but I did at least ride the bike for 5 miles.  I seem to be rebelling against the little strength training program from my walking group.  No idea why.  I like it.  It's concrete, it's the right amount of difficulty, it doesn't take long, it doesn't use equipment, I can do it while I watch TV---what on earth is the problem?  Does part of me not want to succeed? Am I afraid that I might firm up or lose weight and then won't keep it up? So what? It'll always be there for me to to again.  Maybe I just don't want to be disappointed so I'm avoiding it?
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