I confess, I don't think what I'm doing is having any noticable effect. My clothes aren't looser, and I doubt I weigh any less. Still--SOMETHING must be improving because I'm eating so much better--at least more balanced and far less fat and sugar. Except for today. But even today I hope marked a step in the right direction.
About 10 years ago I was on vacation and we stopped at an Arby's. I love Arby's. I had my favorite--a giant roast beef sandwich, a huge order of curly fries, loads of horsey sauce and probably a cherry pie. Plenty of junk food calories there. I ate every bit and loved it BUT when I was through I realized that I was still HUNGRY!! I could have easily eaten as much again. I didn't--even I have some brakes, but I wanted to, and I was annoyed by that. I believe that if I put that amount of food into my system (not to mention pay fast food prices for it), knowing that I will pay for it in bad skin and tighter pants, I should at least be satisfied with the meal!! That episode marked the beginnings of my disenchantment with fast food. I rarely eat at fast food joints anymore even when I'm not trying to watch my weight--they just plain don't fill me up. Subways is the exception. Subway's works for me. Well, today was the retreat at my work, and I had my delicious "executive" meal. It was the yummiest turkey sandwich I've ever eaten. The bread was amazing and covered with oil, and the dressing was amazing (full of fat). With this, I had a bag of potato chips, an apple, a little cup of rice salad (also fatty), and a huge chocolate chip cookie bar. Terrific--except it was Arby's all over again. All that and I wasn't full--not even close. Worse, I was wanting the wrong things all day. There just wasn't the bone deep satisfaction I've enjoyed over the past few weeks. I don't know what my body is missing, but it's missing something. Even now I want to go an graze even though I'm not hungry. I HOPE this marks the beginning of a disenchantment with heavy fat filled low nutrition meals in general.
I'm back to planning--and I made a good dinner for tomorrow and am figuring things out now, but I'm afraid it's coming at the cost of today's exercise. I guess I can do the strength training at least while I watch the news, and maybe walk to work tomorrow though. Grateful today that I haven't yet fallen to the sickness going around the office and here at home (Catherine's down). I may yet go under, but my immune system is putting up an unusually good fight.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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