My daughter just posted that she's thankful I taught her to play the piano. MADE MY DAY!! Those are the important things. Today, the thankful things come first.

1. Catherine's post
2. braces and other physical aids
3. This gorgeous day
4. That I can walk to work tomorrow
5. the superiority of ducks and geese
6. legos
7. The Bishop
8. All the help we got in nursery today
9. our new bed
10. digital cameras
11. The wind and the willows
12. That the Ogden temple is open
13. CS. Lewis
14. popcorn
15 Weight watcher recipeis, for as much as I complain about WW. I AM grateful for much.
16. Sunday naps
17. Saturday morning cartoons
18. Sunday evening documentaries.
19. That Catherine is near enough to come home
20. That she was accepted to BYU

Yesterday's food.

Got up early and went shopping with Dave. He got a doughnut. I was glad to find out that I didn't want one.

Breakfast. ww thin bagel with chive and onion, banana, milk?  Later a chocolate chip, raspberry pistachio muffin.
Lunch: 2 jalapeno biscuits, olives, another muffin
Dinner: a big cobb salad with lt. dressing, most of a slice of bread
Dessert: some dark chocolate.

Muffins

Ooops. Didn't do so well having pizza last night. Too much pizza, too many cookies.  Oh well, try again another day. Out of rebellion for doing poorly yesterday--and in defiance of having to change any habits whatsoever, I have made chocolate raspberry pistachio muffins for breakfast this morning. let's just pretend that makes sense.

Yesterday's food.

Breakfast: jimmy dean, banana, milk and oj
Snack--cracklin oat bran,  later 1/2 funsize kitkat
Lunch--squash lasagne, 2 sm. slices bread, little yellow tomatoes with feta cheese and olives. 1 cookie, fun size bag m&m's.
Dinner--2 slices of spicy fennel sausage pizza on pan crust, cabbage salad with feta and olives, 2 bacon jalapeno biscuits.
Dessert--diet hot chocolate with whipped cream, and three cookies that I didn't need or want.

1. Spices
2. Christmas gift wrap
3. Sleeping in on Saturdays
4. John Denver
5. Dr. Fowler who got me to Aruba!
6. repentance
7. Extreme athletes and those who climb Everest and explore dangerous places
8. The new air-conditioner in nursery.
9. That my parents valued education
10. That I'm not extremely famous
11. Stars
12. Quirky places in the world.
13. Buess pond
14. Kathy's pies.
15. raking leaves
16. children's books
17. The idea of virtual traveling
18. Zims
19. Siegfried's deli
20. knitting

Forced hot chocolate

Hopefully, things have stabilized weight-wise, so now things can proceed to go downhill in the weight world.
 Breakfast: jimmy dean, banana, milk and oj
Snack: cracking oat bran
Snack: Reeses cup---no fair! A student came in with a questionnaire about kids and healthy habits, and then passed out reeses cups as thankyou.
Lunch: small amount of cheese soup, 2 sm slices bread, apple, end of the salami (2-3 oz--probably a  hefty calorie load there), 1 cookie
Dinner: ham on a pretzel roll, chips and pickle spear from cornerstone bakery--YUMMY!

Dessert:---I wanted some cookies right after dinner, but decided to do a few other things first. By the time Dave came home and I was all settled, I didn't really want cookies. But I'm still trying to convince myself that I CAN have what I want. So I made some 20 cal hot chocolate and had one cookie. Maybe next time I'll just feel like, "meh" and skip it.

1. Yellowstone park
2. Make a wish foundation
3. That I got to sing in Mormon Youth
4. Temple Square lights
5. 5 k color runs
6. That it's time to put up a new picture of Mom
7. That Dave made it to and from Provo before the car died.
8. That even if we have to buy a new car, we have the money to make it possible.
9. internet cats
10. Friday night pizza---different from pizza at other times.
11. Tasty thursdays
12. The ward Halloween party
13. The Nelsons, esp. Bro Nelson's teaching.
14. Moroni, because in his letter exchange with the lamanites he sounds so human.
15. That God so often answers my wants, not just my needs, and often seems to send blessings just for the fun of it.
16. That I didn't lose all the inheritance money.
17. Andrew at Chase who seems to know what he's doing.
18. That I have two grocery stores within walking distance
19. That I finished my paper yesterday!
20. That I'm going to try my hand at painting tonight.

Thankful

Well......I'm not quite sure how yesterday went. My leg hurt---walking home last night might have been too much, but I didn't have much choice. I think it's a little better today. Food-wise....?  I technically did skip lunch---which I think shows a cognitive move in the right direction.  Here's the breakdown

Breakfast--2 slices of Ezekiel bread w butter, 2 strips bacon, milk and oj

Snack--a big serving of grapes with cheddar and mozzarellla chunks.

Lunch--I was full. Didn't need it physically, and almost didn't need it psychologically. First I just decided to have a later lunch, then let it go altogether---although not without whining about it first here.

Snack---Leftovers from a workshop. 2 small scones, veggies from veggie tray--just a very little dip (will skip next time, I just don't like ranch dip), 2 crackers, 2 small cheese slices, 1 small meat (lunchable style).  The scones probably gave this "snack" enough calories to count as a meal. So, I guess lunch was semi-skipped.

Dinner--Lunch. Discovered that it is possible to put too much buffalo sauce on chicken. Large serving of peas, 2 small slices artesian bread with butter, olives and blue cheese.

Dessert--made lemon-oatmeal cookies. VERY good. Had 3 with some milk.

And now for the Thankful project. Lots of people on facebook post something they are thankful for each day in November. I think that's too easy. Can I find 20 things to be thankful for? Especially, if I only allow 1 book per day to be part of that list?  I'm going to try, but I'll post here in my blog rather than on facebook because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings if I don't mention them.  I'll start today, and then backtrack on the past 5 days.

1. Jesus Christ--because he took away my GUILT as well as my sins. I'm only beginning to understand how little I understand about what He did.
2. Dave--because he never gives up.
3. Catherine--because she is always so authentically herself. She would like to date, but simply can't flirt because it's alien to her nature.
4. The weber state duck pond.
5. Trees in the fall
6. Good physical therapists.
7. A good job that allows me to play on the internet.
8. The Murdoch Mysteries
9. Our Thanksgiving houses
10. The fireplace
11. That I can cook
12. modern dentistry
13. buffalo wings
14. the today show
15. Abby Gooch because she carries such a heavy load in her life, but is unfailingly kind and good
16. That I got to know the Shepherds a little bit.
17. Glasses with thin lenses
18. The kettlebell class
19 That the kettle bell class won't last forever
20. That I can take classes here for free!!!

NO LUNCH!!!!

I'm not hungry for lunch!! ALARM!! ALARM!!! ALARM!!!  The reason I'm not hungry is that I ate a big bag of grapes and cheese. But I HAVE to eat lunch don't I? Won't the police come and arrest me or something if I don't??

Isn't that crazy? But that's how it feels. I don't skip lunch easily. I'm having to remind myself that I also have a bag of carrots, some 100 popcorn AND I just found out that there might be food leftovers from a class. Plus, I DON'T have a good dinner planned. So, taking my really good lunch home and having it for dinner is a great idea.

Yesterday's food from memory---not written down! What's wrong with me?

Breakfast: Jimmy Dean sausage biscuit, milk, oj. Did I have a banana?

Snack:  don't remember, but I'm sure I had something.

Lunch: Homemade Candian cheese soup and a chicken artichoke lean pocket. Fun size Reeses for dessert.

Dinner: Oven baked "fried" chicken, with mashed potatoes and peas and white gravy. Delicious!! I'll make this more often.

Dessert---date night with Dave. Ice-cream at the merc. This time I wanted and got a brownie sundae. Technically, it WAS a single scoop, but the scoops are so huge that that isn't very impressive. I left a few bites, does that count?

1. That I can sing
2. That Mom took me to the Messiah sing-ins when I was young so I could fall in love.
3. That Dave has great taste in clothes.
4. That Dave cleans house---and is patient with me when I don't.
5. Texting---especially with Catherine
6. That Lisa is watching out for Riley
7. That because of the Savior everything is going to be all right in the end.
8. That I only have a 50 pound weight problem.
9. kleenex with aloe
10. Tigger because he is so loveable.
11. Oreo because she isn't as loveable, and yet brings us joy.
12. Disneyland
13. The exercise bike downstairs.
14. The craft armoire
15. jigsaw puzzles
16. The new couch.
17. The water at work--big improvement over math
18. The Little House books.
19.  That I can teach in nursery--it shows me that I've grown a lot for the better AND helps me grow even more.
20. That I get to speak on a "Christ Centered Christmas" because that will put me in the right spirit for the holidays.

Small things

It's amazing how I can forget even the most basic things, when it comes to things I don't really want to do. I need to re-read the Dr. OZ book.  The idea of soy being good for me has stuck. I really love adding soy milk to my normal milk. I can feel that my body loves it.  And I also go that high-fructose corn syrup is a really stupid thing to eat. Otherwise, my mind has thrown it all out. But I will still carry on.

I'm going to look for a ring to wear as a constant reminder that small portions are often enough!! If they aren't enough, I can have more, but it truly isn't necessary to eat like a linebacker all day long every day---(although if I choose to work out like an NFL linebacker, then I can adjust my eating upward).

I'll keep trying to record my food here too, to learn from my mistakes instead of endlessly repeating them. 

The other day, Hollie at 300poundsdown.com talked about how she is a experimenting with weight loss with herself as the chief subject. I'm doing exactly the same thing. And I sometimes get very angry at Weight Watchers and other programs that claim to have solutions. But it has belatedly occurred to me that obesity is a relatively new problem!! It's going to take some real time for the medical community to figure things out. I wouldn't be surprised at all if in 50 years people look back on shows like the Biggest Loser and programs like weight watchers with real horror. But society can't skip steps alas. It's simply going to take time to learn about obesity and how to handle it.  This thought helps me to forgive WW a little bit. They really think they DO have the answers, and they're about the best program out there. It's still abysmally bad, but it's the best society has. Goodness knows, I haven't come up with THE solution. As soon as I do, I'll publish and be rich at last. 

Anyhow---I've also been thinking about how obesity is a combination of habit as well as physical addiction. For example, I have the habit of going back for second helpings at dinner. I really LIKE the action of going back for seconds whether I'm full or not, or even whether I like the food or not. That got me to thinking about other habits I have that I wouldn't want to give up---like opening presents on Christmas morning. I'd feel super deprived if I couldn't do that!! Or reading before I go to sleep. I LOVE doing that. Realizing how deeply engrained many of my food habits are, helps me to appreciate how difficult it is to give them up.  But the good news is, that I don't have to give them up!!!  Not really. I've found that going back for seconds is habit, but the quantity is not!! I've been doing really well dealing with this habit. Either I take a smaller first helping, fully intending to go back, or I take a really small second helping (assuming of course, that I'm really full when I go back), and that's been ok!

Here's another one. I like chocolate after lunch. No problem! The habit says chocolate, it doesn't say a full-sized candy bar. Dark chocolate is even good for me, so bring that habit on!!

Looking back, I've been working on making my habits less deadly over the years and I think it's really helping. I still have a long way to go, but that's ok.

Ok, here's what I remember from yesterday's food. Today I'll actually track it.

Breakfast: 2 eggo waffles with nutella, banana and whipped cream.
Snack: some cracklin oat bran cereal (I call it puppy chow), I love that stuff, but it has a lot of sugar. Luckily, it's super expensive, so I don't have it very often.

Lunch: a HUGE portion of  spaghetti lasagne, 2 small slices of artisan bread, an apple, and a fun sized peanut-butter snickers.

Snack: a fun-sized m&m's

Snack before my night class: String cheese, and goldfish.

Late dinner, after my class. Ezekiel bread with organic (thanks Dave) peanut butter, two slices of bacon (weird, I know, but really good). milk with nestle's quik.

1. Spell Check
2. Peter the apostle--I identify with him! He failed to walk on water, he denied the Christ and yet he was one of the best servants ever. Gives me hope!
3. Cheese
4. Christmas lights
5. Kelsey Frandson, because she looks like one of the proverbial gorgeous mean-girls that terrified me in junior high and still make me feel insecure, and yet she is so NICE!
6. Kelsey's key lime pie
7. Weber's women in motion for helping me to walk my first half-marathon
8. Jane Stout, for being hilarious and walking the Halloween half with me.
9. Catherine for walking the Salt Lake half AND doing the Disney half.
10. Catherine because she loves her old mum.
11. The harry Potter books.
12. facebook--it's fun to keep in touch.
13. Dad, because he is a financial buffer for Christine.
14. Dave, for fixing the swamp cooler every fall and spring.
15. That I've discovered snorkeling
16. That I've been to so many wonderful places.
17. That I have an imagination to take me everywhere I can't get to.
18. Libraries!!
19. Catherine's quirky roommates.
20. The teacher who gave Catherine the chance to go to Turkey. 

Thinner?

Am I thinner? Holding steady?  Not sure. Some things are definitely on the tight side, but my workout pants really fit yesterday and they hadn't before.  Good things continue---but so do the bad things, I just hope the good will overwhelm the bad someday.  Last night I made a spaghetti squash lasagne that was really good. This is a real make-again.

Did I pig out on Halloween? Not really. Actually, I never really have--or at Thanksgiving either. This isn't really virtuous, it's just that since I feast every day, have a dedicated feast day isn't that big of a deal. So, I probably overate, but no worse than usual.

1. That I got to do lots of real trick-or-treating when I was young
2. Sister Newsome
3. Mom's blackberries
4. Mom and Dad always being up to something interesting
5. That I can read
6. That I can cook
7. That I don't have any severe food allergies
8. That I live in America
9. That Dave has tenure!
10. That I can walk to work.
11. That Mom left us the trust--even though I don't like administering it.
12. An education
13. That I've always been free to pursue any dream
14. That people climb Mt. Everest
15. That I can play the harp and piano
16. That Nanette is so endlessly patient.
17. Soft breezes
18. That the hospital is right nearby.
19. That I'm free from major psychiatric disorders (so far)
20. That I can pray.

Thankfulness for Nov. 2

1. For the door to my office.
2. That I live in a place with seasons
3. The frontrunner train
4. Pizza
5. Our tv trays
6. Our little garden
7. The smell of pine
8. The corner bakery
9. Barnes and Noble
10. My sewing machine
11. Agatha Christie
12. The nook--thanks mom!
13. The wii--Thanks Dad!
14. That Mom and Dad always came to everything
15. That I don't have to go swimming every day.
16. For Dr. Amsels very careful teaching of a hard subject
17. That I'm taking classes in English--not Chinese
18. For great bloggers like Hollie and Sean
19. That I'm no longer a teenager
20. That I don't drink

Thankfulness for Nov 1.

1. For Christmas stockings
2. For the Festival of Trees
3. For pandora aol radio
4. For books on tape
5. That I've had jobs at two libraries
6. That God brought us to Ogden--it's hard, but it's right.
7. For peace during Mom's death
8. For general conference
9. For Jon Bytheway and other phenomenal youth speakers
10. For Geodes
11. For the discovery and nature channels
12. Timpanogos cave
13. Grandma and Grandpa taking me everywhere in California
14. Omi and Opa!!
15. The apricot tree when I was little.
16. Great artists
17. The Houston Renassance Festival
18. For honest auto-mechanics
19. For Ben Dickson and all his help
20. For all the people that helped us move to Ogden.