Metabolism

I ran a metabolic formula on the internet supposing that I weighed 155. The base calorie need for that is about 1400 PLUS any kind of physical activity bumps it up several hundred calories. 1800 cal should be about my magic happy place. And the really happy thing is that 1800 cal is doable. Sort of. when I'm not constantly derailed by exceptions which I always am. But it's nice to know that what I'm shooting for is not a life sentence of water and celery sticks. Or even "delicious" meals consisting of 4 pieces of shrimp (ala a weight watchers commercial). I need to do MUCH better, but at least the goal isn't completely impossible.

1. That I got Mom's SS number
2. That Lisa isn't mad at me about finding the SS number
3. That tomorrow is payday
4. That I might get out of class early tonight
5. That I got a head's up about the FBLA competition
6. That escape the room is in Salt Lake!
7. That I don't suffer from horrible food allergies
8. Carol Burnett
9. Dorothea Dix
10. That it'll be warm enough to walk to work next week
11. That medical care is so easily available
12. For a terrific primary presidency
13. For CS Lewis and all of his work
14. Pretty drives to Logan with the cheese factory at the end
15. The waterfall canyon trail
16. Rainbow gardens--great random shopping
17. That Mom's grave is close
18. That I know I'll see her again
19. That the city is taking our house--so we get to move w/o worrying (much) about selling
20. For meaningful work

Happy

I had such a fun day yesterday! We took the train to the Sandy Expo, but we were all hungry so we decided to stop for lunch before seeing the Christmas Gift Giving expo. I forgot that one of my favorite restaurants is right there. We ate at the Southwest Cantina. I like this place because it has a salsa bar and you can have as many chips as you like. I ordered my favorite fattening smothered jalapeno cream cheese chimichanga. But at least I split the meal. Hopefully that counts for something.

I enjoyed plenty of free food samples at the expo, but I didn't need/want or eat the pastries that Dave bought later. There was no discipline in this. It's simply where my food habits are. The problem is that my food habits are simply set 50 degrees too high and I'm having a devil of a time changing them.  I spent a lot of time walking and standing and I hopefully spent a lot of calories trying to stay warm as we waited over an hour in 27 degree weather for the train.

1. Really happy moments
2. Seeing Helmut and Janet
3. That Catherine could leave her backpack with Helmut and Janet
4. Free Samples
5. Little girls trying to dance
6. The peruvian wood booth and other wonders I saw yesterday
7. That I have a warm house
8. laughter
9. The truth of, "This too, shall pass"
10. Lord of the Rings
11. Alexander McCall Smith
12. Nativity scenes
13. Launa Dickson for her help in nursery and the great job she does with choir
14. Heros, like Mahlala and the Afghan Women's cycling team. I hope they make the Olympics
15. The Olympics
16. Charlie Brown Shows
17. The far side
18. Calvin and Hobbes
19. The sacrament
20. A new pillow

Revolt!

Ugh!  I left my food list at work,but the important thing is that for dinner I ate three pieces of pizza, a salad and a hefty number of chocolate chip cookies with milk. The good news is that at least I was overfull. The bad news is that I ate it at all. WHY did I do that to myself?  I think the reason is the no-longer baggy pants. My knee is being very slow to heal too---a direct result of being overweight. These things trigger a, "diet is coming soon" mentality and so I start eating like every meal is my last. At least I think that's what's going on.  I don't want to go back on a diet. It doesn't work. I hate being this weight. But I also hate the misery of dieting only to arrive right back here . I'm in no mood to be moderate today either. We're going to the big Christmas gift show, and the part I like best (naturally) is all the free samples. How do I eat less without undereating so much that I cause a revolt? But yet make progress?? How do I measure progress without the scale or the tape measure which causes rebellion?

I'd better think of some gratitude pronto!

1. This blog
2. National Geographic
3. Silly Christmas music like Grandma got run over by a Reindeer
4. Great music like the messiah
5. The Vienna boys choir and their Christmas dvd
6. Playing bananagrams on the train
7. Helmut and Janet
8. Edelwiess store
9. Dry Erase Boards
10.That I don't have to teach elementary school
11. bell ringers
12. The inspiration I'm getting for my talk.
13. body wash
14. waterparks
15. popcorn strings
16. pinterest
17. the waterfall landscaping on my way to work
18. snowplows
19. All weather tires
20. scented candles.

Not baggy

ACK! My "baggy" jeans aren't baggy just now! They fit perfectly. This scares me. I've also decided that I have no concept at all of how to eat lightly. What were the problems yesterday?

Breakfast: I wasn't all that hungry. Should I not have eaten? Should I have just brought a snack to work?
thin bagel with cream cheese, about a 1/2 cup blueberries with milk and spenda, also a glass of milk.
I guess I could have done with less milk.

Snack: trail mix made of walnuts, dates and dk chocolate chips. I didn't mean to eat it all, but I did. It felt good after kettlebell. Was this a mistake? or listening to my body. Could I have thrown 1/4 of it away? Would I then have been overly hungry for lunch?

Lunch: Tasty Thursday. Small sample of African chicken soup. A few sips of a weird drink, and a bite of the apple cinnamon dessert. Sandwich made with good bread, horseradish, deli roast beef, mozzarella cheese, spinach and tomato. Could I have thrown a few bites of that away at the beginning? (Much harder to not eat it all at the end).Olives---ok, I could have had less of those.

Snack: a little movie popcorn. We got the popcorn machine going. Totally unnecessary--I didn't even want it. But I had a few handfuls.

Dinner: Manwich wings, 2 bacon cream cheese rolls, sweet potato fries, blue cheese dressing, ketchup, a few raw veggies.  Those rolls are supposedly only 125 cal each, but probably not when loaded with cheddar. I wasn't particuarly hungry for dinner either. I didn't take what looked like a huge amount, but if it was more than I wanted, then it was too much!

Dessert---didn't want any for once!

I dunno. It's so hard to remember on a daily basis that small choices matter. And I have to be careful. For example, we're going to a Christmas fair tomorrow. Am I more likely to buy a scone if I think I'm being "good" by throwing away a few bites of it? Or is the truth that I would have skipped the scone altogether otherwise. So hard to be honest in the middle of the fight.

1. Thanksgiving dinner at my house!
2. Catherine's coming home tonight.
3. The Christmas fair
4. That I found the Christmas tree jubilee
5. The African music station
6. That I could schedule therapy after work
7. Pan crust pizza at papa murphys
8. that the librarian helped me find the dvd's I wanted and they were ALL checked in!
9. Jamie at work who is so fun to talk to.
10. That it's Friday!
11. The the cat's fur is soooooo soft.
12. sweats
13. That Dave cleans
14. That Dave is so patient with me.
15. That no trial lasts forever.
16. That my boss doesn't hover
17. Christmas stockings--such a fun tradition
18. sauces, chutneys, spices
19. Dorothy Sayers--and the BBC adaptations
20. Amazon.com

portions? Anyone?

Crud! I've totally let go of the idea that portions mean anything. The concept of small just doesn't compute. On the plus side, I was able to walk to work yesterday--just in time for the cold snap. Kettlebell class is interesting too. I've discovered that I can work MUCH harder and longer than I think I can. I've also discovered that I don't like to. I should have been a farmer like my grandparents. I still wouldn't have liked it, but I wouldn't have had any choice either. I have at least tracked my food. And I'll catch up on gratitude too. :)

Nov 11.
Breakfast: Jimmy Dean sandwich, banana, milk, ok
snack: cracklin oat bran, mini reeses cup
Lunch: sm. amount of soup, the end of the summer sausage, bread and butter, two cookies, apple.
Snack: a reasonable amount of movie popcorn--$1 size
Stagecoach restaurant for dinner: western omelete, hashbrowns, 1 1/2 hotchocolates (I was freezing) a couple bites of cherry pie.
exercise: kettle bell

Nov. 12

Breakfast: muffin, milk, oj
Snack: string cheese
Lunch: chicken with frank's hot sauce (too hot!!), blue cheese, olives, 1 reeses cup, bread and butter, plum.
Dinner--very late b/c visiting teaching.  sugar cookie, chicken with gravy, potato, milk muffin

1. That I've become the "fun" project person at work
2. That I don't have to drive far today
3. For the first snow!
4. Gingerbread cookies
5. The book stranded at plimouth plantation--I read it every thanksgiving
6. That Lisa has a house big and nice enough for gatherings.
7. That our neighbors seems to have taken their dog inside.
8. That Erik seems to have forgiven me.
9. For online language courses
10. for online art courses.
11. Joanne's fabrics
12.  Dinosaurs and museums
13. toilet paper
14. ear muffs
15. cans of frosting (I"m not a good frosting maker)
16. the travelenvelope
17. The new testament--esp the beattitudes
18. That I got to work at REM
19. That I'm not in a wheelchair
20. For Kelly's example of dealing with a major illness with grace.

1. That there's so much laughter at work
2. That I can nap at work
3. That I can walk to the bank
4. That I get immediate notice if I'm overdrawn
5. That I can read
6. That my parents loved me.
7. That a spaceship has landed on a comet!
8. For the exercise bike
9. For concrete blocks and pressboard shelving
10. For our game closet.
11. That I got to sing in Mormon Youth
12. That I got to serve a mission
13. General Conference!
14. That some of the nursery kids will be leaving.
15. That Catherine wasn't a difficult baby
16. For the Taylor's testimony of Christ.
17. For Bro. Davenports updates
18. For the tv trays we inherited
19. For a two car garage.
20. That I dont' have to be on a swim team.

1. That it's Dan and not me doing the data today
2. That I think I can get to the library and get the mafia dvd 's
3. That we live near Yellowstone
4. For the Disney Sunday movies when I was growing up
5. For Tricia's friendship and her family
6. For Debbie
7. That my wedding reception was on the patio--not in the gym
8. That I've shaken the hand of a prophet
9. For ALLEGRA!
10. For Kyle and his love of zoology
11. For Nadine Riddle--so loving
12. That Stephonie Williams is my facebook friend
13. That I COULD publish my diet book
14. That I didn't marry Jeff or Stu, or much worse, Ken
15. That I was born middle-class. Not too rich, poor or famous.
16. That I discovered Pride and Prejudice
17. Many of the PandP spin offs
18. That it's so easy to get help at Weber
19. That English is my native language--helpful in today's world!
20. For my little scripture a day calendar

thyroid

Darn, I was reading about hypothyroidism, sounds like it's hard to diagnose until you really have severe problems. I still want that magic pill. Oh well. Leg is definitely better. Tomorrow I'll try and walk both ways to work.

Yesterday:
Breakfast: thin bagel with garden veggie cream cheese, milk, oj, 2 slice bacon.
Lunch: 2 slices of pizza (how come it's not as filling when it's a leftover?) cabbage salad with blue cheese crumbles and olives, reeses cup, 1/2 fun sized kit kat, plum
Snack: jalapeno nuts
Not hungry enough to eat dinner before class, but I should have, I felt exhausted during class. I had jalapeno nuts, a little brie, a mini reeses, a mini almond joy, and one small chips ahoy cookie (boy, those have gotten small and cheap tasting--never buying those again)
Dinner back home: Slice of good bread and butter, cheddar cheese. milk.

1. We don't have to buy a new car! Just a new engine (much cheaper)
2. Escape the room coming to SLC
3. Vocal Point
4. yesterday's sunset
5. silly stuff like the Nearly Naked Mile
6. movies at the megaplex
7. movie popcorn--don't need it, but it's so good!
8. Bryan on facebook, he's so funny
9. Lily, our best catsitter
10. Harry Potter world
11. That panty hose are no longer in style.
12. Paid vacations!
13. People who adopt
14. refrigerators
15. Mr. Rogers
16. Nelson Mandela
17. George Washington and David McCauley for writing the book that brought him to me
18. Warm slippers
19. Crystal Hot Spring
20. Cherry Blossoms

Walked!

Walked to work today. It went well. i think for me, lots of heat and movement in the right way work well for my body. My leg feels fine, but otherwise, I'm beat. Too much computer, or maybe just too much anticipation of a long class ahead. No matter--the day is still filled with wonderful things.

1. Got the whole NYC trip up in my blog.
2. That I've seen New York!
3. That I walked to work
4. That fall is lingering.
5. That Dave can pick me up to take me home.
6. That I can take a sick day if I need to.
7. Dick Francis books
8. Dan's help with my blog.
9. That I could donate to Sammy's dog
10. To work on campus with Dave
11. Free online art classes!
12. That I can literally go anywhere or do anything I want.
13. Kind relatives like Aunt Mary Jo.
14. Dad's willingness to always help
15. Books on tape and CD
16. That I didn't have to wear braces
17. That I got to live until 50 (and hopefully much more)
18. hot chocolate and fireplaces
19. Escape the room in SLC
20. That my house is usually filled with happiness.

Food

Careless accounting. I don't know what's gotten into me. From memory again.

Breakfast: 1 pancake, a little fruit, milk, diet juice
Snack: two hershey's kisses
Lunch. 1 slice pizza, olives, small amount of butternut squash soup. milk and muffin
Snack: popcorn with olive oil
Dinner: Porkchops and peaches, acorn squash
Dessert;  Did well here! Had planned on another muffin, but was fine after one pumpkin chocolate chip cookie. Had some diet hotchocolate instead and was more than satisfied.