Flavor Point

Instead of true good behavior, I'm opting for a little silliness. There is a book called the Flavor Point Diet. I ran across it in Cedar Rapids and some of the receipes are quite good.  It's a semi-quack diet. The idea is that if every meal has a flavor in common (today is pineapple day) then your mind becomes fatigued with that flavor and you don't want as much food.  Maybe on some planets, but not in my world I bet.

It's not quite as quack as it sounds though---I mean, I'm not just eating pineapple today. Each day works out to be between 1400-1500 calories of healthy food. Of course anyone would lose weight. I think it's sounding appealing to me just now, because I'm frustrated with myself for weight gain, and I'm tired of counting calories. The idea of just eating what somebody else tells me to feels really good right now.  I don't expect to tolerate this for any real length of time, but I figure, it's healthy, I'll knock off a few pounds---ideally, I'll hang in there until I get back to at least 195. By that time I'll be excited to eat real food (meaning unplanned stuff I actually have in the house) and maybe I'll feel better about a more normal relationship with food.

For now though, I'm not minding much. Yesterday was fast Sunday. In my mind I'm thinking of this diet as "fasting with snacks."  And I must admit I'm not all that hungry today, even though I've eaten far less than usual. Here's today's menu:

Breakfast--1 cup kashi cereal
1/4 c pineapple juice
1/2 c milk

Snack--1/2 cup pineapple chunks

Lunch--chicken salad with walnuts and pineapple

Dinner--pineapple shrimp, bulger wheat, veggies, a green salad.

Dessert--carmelized pineapple rings.

See? Not bad--the chicken salad was really good actually, just not as much as I would choose to eat. Hence, it's a diet. Definitely NOT a lifestyle change.  Who would want to eat this rigidly for real? Just a quick fix and a little vacation from using my brains when it comes to food.

pizza and brownies

Not quite ready to behave yet. I had a healthy breakfast and lunch, but I also popped popcorn and brought the whole bowlful to work with olive oil (a ww trick I really like--although with more oil than recommended). I also had a little chocolate from the wedding reception.  It's been nice to feel really full all day. But I've also felt sleepy and annoyed with myself.  Tomorrow we're going up to Park City which means eating out--and, no, I really CANT make healthy choices at a restaraunt unless that's what I truly want, which is rare. sigh.

I think I'm going to make myself the chocolate brownies I've been craving tonight and see if that won't throw me into a better frame of mind to try try again.

Today though, I've been flooded with memories. I saw my best school friend yesterday. Back in the day, I really hero-worshipped her.  It seemed to me then that she was the prettiest and most fun and talented person in the world. Seeing her yesterday brought all of that back.  And you know what?  I was right. She is still pretty and talented and fun.  What I couldn't see back then was that there were many others in my class who were equally pretty etc. Including myself.  Despite being pudgy with braids and crooked teeth and being too tall and all the rest--I was cute. It was SOOO good to see her and to see us both in a more reasonable light----both of us stayed strong in the gospel and raised great kids. Both of us are truly beautiful people in every way. Why do we worry about weight so much? Is it really so important?

Grateful today--for dear friends, especially Louise, a hilarious letter from Catherine, a super fun mom and daughter who came in for advisement, that I can sleep in tomorrow, that I can make brownies tonight, that I have a break from the gospel doctrine lesson Sunday and that we're going to Disneyworld in November!!!!

Disappointed

199. I'm disappointed and angry with myself. But at least I don't feel aggrieved. I mean---on weight watchers, I'd feel as though I'd work and starve for no reward. I went in the wrong direction in July, but at least it's no surprise why. I've got a wedding tomorrow. I'd really like to work harder in August and hit 195, except that I have a wedding reception tonight and I don't feel like working at all.  I feel like having a huge helping of brownies.

Trying trying trying

Scary!  Fourth of July, two birthday parties, late night pizza, work BBq, out to dinner. All conspire to throw me off the track. Not only have I not lost my 2 pounds so far, but I've gone the other direction. This is what I was afraid of---just spinning around re-losing the same two or three pounds forever.  BUT!  I haven't quit, and the month isn't over.  So, I'll see how this turns out.  In spite of my many failings, there are even more successes, and I think some of the psycological barriers are getting thinner.

My latest goofy exercise scheme is a fun one. Go from New York to Los Angeles, either by bike or on foot. These things really work for me. When I was only three miles from Newark, NJ--I went downstairs and rode those three miles. I'm still just in the beginning phase. I'm on my way to Pottersdown, NJ, 39 miles from Newark.  Today, to my great annoyance I woke up at 6:30 even though I didn't have to be at work till 9.  So I walked the 5K. Smart, because it's been blazing hot.

Full of sugar

July 5

Ugh!  I thoroughly enjoyed the fourth and my day off from counting. But the last thing did me in. I had a normal breakfast--good sign! It felt natural to pass on having bacon since I'd be having fried chicken for lunch--it didn't feel like a "diety" decision, just felt normal. Hooray! Maybe I'm developing a few normal food instincts after all.  Had my extra crispy KFC for lunch, had my decadent almond joy brownie bites (321 cal for a smallish square--ouch!), dinner was equally bad--popcorn, salami, cheese, olives and cherry pie and ice-cream.  So far, so good--at least good as in, I'd eaten everything I wanted.  THEN we went to an acquaintances house to see the fireworks. Uh boy. HUGE rootbeer floats and cookies. I didn't feel as though I could refuse.  THAT put me over the edge.  I am sugared out.  I didn't want breakfast, and I'm kind of thinking I might not want lunch either. It's nice to know that my body doesn't want ALL food. It only wants what it wants and no more. There's hope!

On the radar

Hey!  I find that I don't want my treat to be off the radar after all.  I got some salami and some German grilling cheese that I'm excited to try. I have plenty of calories saved up tonight to enjoy it. It's still hard tho. I don't know how Sean did it. 1,500 - 2,200 (trying to keep it around 2000 preferably) is still a strain, and I can see that I will need--not want, but need to have fairly frequent days where I actually eat until I am satisfied--not just barely full, to stay the course. But I think that's going to be ok. Tomorrow is the 4th--all bets off. I'm making some almond joy brownie bites that I'm excited about as well as a cherry pie. At the moment tho--just being really full is what is sounding the best. I'm eating plenty I feel as though I ought to be full and it's weird that I'm not.  For breakfast I had an omelete, 2 slices of toast, a banana and milk. for lunch I had a pizza pocket, a large serving of cucumber slop, 100 popcorn and a fiber one bar. I could easily eat a large steak dinner just now.

Met goal!

Met my June goal!!!!  The frequent weighing at the end was smart.  I did not do well at ALL at the campout. The culprit was bacon. They fixed a TON of it for breakfast and I ate at least a pound, maybe more. For dinner, Saturday we had pizza, so the day was pretty much a wash out. Even still, Sunday morning I was exactly at the 198 goal.  Since I know I was weighing at 196 for several days at least, I'm going with a 195 pound goal for July.

I've changed my mind about my reward though. I made a weight watcher's pie yesterday which is quite good, Dave made cookies and cream ice-cream which is GREAT. And for the fourth on Thursday, I'm making a cherry pie for tradition's sake and some almond joy brownie bites because they sound fabulous. I don't think I want Mama Crimin's cookis as well.  Instead, I'm going to Smiths tonight to reward myself with salami and a fancy cheese. I'll enjoy it tomorrow as an off the radar snack, and then continue to enjoy it, but count it for the rest of the month.

I got right back on track yesterday, didn't find it too hard to stop at one serving of potroast and mashed potatoes, had my pie, had room for ice-cream, but didn't finish the ice-cream. I was suddenly done and I just let myself be done.

Today I had a Mormon Muffin (no idea--I called it 200cal) and an omelete for breakfast, I'll have a big sandwich for lunch with a cucumber yogurt salad and some snyders pretzels, for dinner we're trying a Hungry Girl recipe for mac and cheese.  The big problem at the moment is exercise--we're having a heat wave, and the WSU gym is under construction. I can, and plan to exercise at home, but the heat is making me feel lethargic.