Sean wrote a wonderful post today about never giving up even if you're way off track with no motivation to get back on. He assures us that we'll get back on track. Thank goodness for that, but I still distrust the "Click." What clicks on, can just as easily click off. How and what do I do when the click goes off? I suppose I can just try and maintain, but when my click goes off, it is well and truly off and I'm not interested in maintaining or making any effort at all. Maybe I'm just so convinced that I can't succeed that I make sure I pack the weight back on as quickly as I can to prove to myself that I'm right? But why should that worry me--I already live in the land of success for many people.
Although I weigh 200 plus pounds just now, that is DREAM WEIGHT for Sean, and plenty of others, especially the poor souls who are super obese. I walk, I took a PE class. I can sit in movie theater seats, go to any sporting event and go to the top of the bleachers, I ride in airplanes and buy clothes off the rack. Dream lifestyle!! In a lot of important ways, I DO live the life of the thin. That's what I want to focus on. Losing weight isn't scary or different, it's will only enable me to do the things I already do a little more easily. I actually DO maintain a weight that would be nirvana for some. I'm not that big comparitively. That sounds like great psychology for purposes of self-sabotage, but not so great for motivation. If it's only a "small" change, what will motivate me to make the effort to make it happen? Maybe I can think of it as a small change with BIG consequences. No diabetes (I hope), better self-esteem. But I'll still be the same person.
I'LL STILL BE THE SAME PERSON
I like that. It's good to be the same person, because I am a GOOD and wonderful person and I really resent the media implying that I am inferior because I have this problem. We ALL have problems. So, no resentment---because if I drop the weight it doesn't make any kind of fundamental difference anyway. I can be free to drop.
I don't know why that's important but I can sense that it is for me.
Maybe I should just go with the idea that I can use the diet industry as a guide and I should do the exact opposite of whatever they think is motivating.
A little gratitude
So glad Dad didn't seriously damage that car the other night
Christine is coming to events more on time
Catherine's home for the holidays
Money--it's been a long time coming, but we really have enough--it feels so good!
My fun office
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
No comments:
Post a Comment