I've been sick these past few days--naturally, my appetite has been fine. I dragged myself into work today, but I'll be glad when the day is over. Holly, my favorite blogger, posted how discouraged she is because she's gained weight back and isn't motivated at all to do anything about it. THAT sounds familiar. I posted this as a comment.
Thank you so much for this post!! I feel exactly the same way. I'm trying to rake up the will to try again--probably around New Year, which has never worked before, but I'm trying to believe that it will now.
Except, that after reading your post I DO believe it!!! Because when I read your post all I see is success, which makes me realize that I HAVE been and AM successful too!!! Will I finally reach goal weight? I don't know. But I will have success, and I will weigh far less than I might otherwise. So, to hell with the scale and the tape measure. Success in weight control is exactly the same for me as success in any other endeavor---charity, kindness, gratitude, thank goodness there isn't a way to quantify those, or I might have given up years ago I'm so far from perfect.
I'm becoming increasingly convinced that I have NO IDEA what the journey of weight loss even looks like. Maybe weight gains, stalls and total loss of motivation are just a natural part of the journey. It's as silly to give up on ourselves in those places as it would be to give up on a hike because there is a hill ahead or a rock in our shoe.
I do feel better now that I've written that. Every day of success is just that. A success. I've hit a bump. That's ok. Even inevitable. I'll keep on going. God is the one in charge here. If I fight my whole life and stay the same size, I'll have succeeded because I never gave up and I'll be blessed. So, I'm going to try as hard as I can and in the meantime just enjoy my wonderful body that takes me everywhere and does everything.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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