Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Others are broken

Fast Sunday today--my body is saying THANK YOU. My mind not so much, but that's ok. I seem to be coming across scriptures about self-mastery. Also, the RS lesson I was reading was about self-reliance and self-mastery. I need to be looking those up actively, but I haven't been, so I appreciate the Lord helping out.

I'm also seeing some scary visual examples of others who are overweight (all more than me) and having BIG problems because of it. One lady is older than I am and is constantly sick and constantly having knee and leg issues. One is much younger, but is having foot problems, the one who is heaviest, snapped three ligaments in her foot for no reason at all. She says she "just took a step." It sounds like what happens when my knee goes out.

No thanks!! If I must get rickety and have problems because I'm getting older, so be it. But I really DON'T want problems of my own making.  I think this is the worst detour I've had since starting this blog. I wish so much I didn't have to worry or work at it, that I begin to believe that I really can. Not yet. My mind is still much too focused on food. I am, however, going to do everything I can to make my next attempt as little like a diet as possible and as much as the famous "lifestyle" change that everyone talks about. It's only a few small tweaks on the last attempt, but I hope it will make a difference.

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