Okay, okay, okay. I will begin trying again on Sunday. Meanwhile, I've at least gotten a little exercise, although my leg is still bothering me. I went through my slips yesterday and randomized the hungry girl days.
Self-deception is an amazing thing. My gray pants, that I don't wear very much, are fitting fine today which makes me think that I don't need to work on my weight at all--even though virtually everything else is very tight and I feel like an overstuffed balloon.
I'm debating about adding the weight watchers zero point food list. The three things that are surprising are bananas, apples and ketchup. I'm not quite sure what to do. I don't think I'd eat mountains of bananas and apples, but I would probably eat them almost daily and they DO have calories (80), and goodness knows, those stupid calories add up. Enough so, that I think WW has taken back bananas as a freebie. On the other hand, I need my program to be liveable. The less liveable, the less likely I am to stick with it. But I'm a little nervous about the first time I tried my randomized system and I set the calories too high and didn't lose anything. I don't want to do that again. I'm also not too thrilled with the idea of the scale. I'm thinking of not even weighing in at the beginning---mostly because I just don't want to know. These last few months have been a serious bender. But also because the scale just doesn't tell me enough. Am I losing weight because I'm losing muscle mass? Am I gaining because I'm gaining muscle mass? Maybe I'll compromise--the first apple and banana are free? I'm not a huge ketchup eater unless I have fries--oven fries are a staple for me. But maybe the ketchup is ok since it's not a daily thing.
I AM excited to just not feel so overstuffed. This feeling will last until I have to deny myself the first item. Truly, overeating has NOTHING to do with hunger and everything to do with the fact that eating is my favorite thing on earth to do. We went and saw zoo-lights on Saturday night. I was stuffed. But we could eat at the Beastro! And they have pretty good food! And it was zoo-lights! So of course I had pizza and garlic knots, and hot chocolate.
I think it's important this time around that hunger does NOT play a role. That's why I like the WW zero point soup and zero point list (mostly veggies of course). I can't do much about not wanting every food item that I see---well, yes I can. I can work on finding better habits. But my mind is solidly addicted. Gratitude is always helpful though. Here is some.
Christmas!!!
Books!!!
Funny presents!!
Snow on Christmas Day--perfect, beautiful Christmas snow!!
PERFECT dry weather conditions all through Nov and Dec when we had to drive a lot
Lights
Christmas decorations
Christmas music
That the older nursery kids have finally moved on
That Sis. Leishman is in there with us now
Our fireplace
That I had almost all of last week off
The temple
Faith renewed re: Christine
facebook
laughter
calorie count guides--dieting is horrible, but much less so now than in the 70's
Good health
That Dave snowblowed for me this morning.
exercise dvds
easy access medical care
Settlers of Catan
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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