Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Saturday, January 11, 2014

2 slices of pizza

Phew! Eating just two slices of pizza is really hard for me! But I did it! 1900 cal on a pizza day. Yay me!!  And today I wore my size 14 jeans. They've always been a stretch (literally), but I think a bit less so around the waist today.  Today is another "small meals" day.  A red star day I fear.  Breakfast was good, but I took C to SLC to buy a camera and there is the cheesecake factory there.  Overall we did very well we both ordered off the skinnylicious menu. I had the pear and goat cheese flatbread and she had the potstickers, and we shared them--fabulous both! Not anymore expensive than food court food.  That's ok. The problem was the free bread. Not only did we eat what they brought out, but we (meaning mostly me) ate most of the second basket as well. With butter.  We skipped the cheesecake in favor of some Mrs. Fields mini cookies later. Those are bad for me too, but at least they fit in well with the "small" idea.

So, a flawed effort, but still hanging in there.  I just ate a banana. And I'll eat my dinner (baked monte cristo sandwiches) in two shifts.

I'm also feeling sadly vindicated today. Sean, of my beloved losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com  has just revealed that he's gained some weight back.  I don't know how much, but enough apparently enough that it's noticeable.  He's back in there fighting now and I wish him well with all my heart. But it makes me feel even more that I'm on the right path here.  If a diet is too hard (his was 1500 cal per day), then not only can most people not stick to it permanently--but you're fighting the addiction tooth and nail rather than letting the addiction melt away in a loving and doable way.  I really believe that--although I realize that this thinking might just be part of my own addiction which wishes that it wasn't as hard as it is.  We'll see who's right in 5 years. Hopefully we both are. I've never met Sean, but he's inspired me so much--I badly want him to succeed.

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