Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Wednesday, January 29, 2014

1500--eeep!

Today is my first 1500 cal day. That's the lowest I go--except for Flavor Point days that are right around there.  I seem to be unduly freaked out about it and sure I'll starve. But that's silly. Yesterday all the real food I ate came in at 1580 which meant I had enough for a cake pop and some milk. I think I'll live. Lots of people try to lose weight with 1200. No way. It's amazing what a difference those 300 or 400 cal can make.

I'm determined never to go too low or too hard again. Weight watchers was just too drastic. Also, Sean wrote a wonderful blog post about "The Click." I get what he's saying--I've experienced it myself many times in weight loss and other areas too. When "The Click" is on amazing things can happen--you're in the zone and nothing can defeat you. But I don't trust the "Click".  Too often the "click" will switch off without my even being aware it's off or why it flipped. One day I'll wake up and realize that I haven't practiced the harp for three weeks, or I haven't touched the project I was working on and enjoying for months. If the "Click" is set at a level that is too different from what you do naturally, then you'll get a major relapse.  

A healthy lifestyle can NOT be subject to the "Click."  Right now it's on for me--I'm liking my program, and I'm doing great. I know that soon enough I'll be bored with it and what then? I figure I have three safety nets---first this blog which can show me if I'm not paying attention anymore. Also my calendar where I put my daily star. If suddenly too many days go by with no star, then I know I'm off kilter. Thirdly, my "envelope" is deliberately adjustable. If the click is off, and I have no motivation to continue, I hope I'll at least scrape up the energy to fix the envelope--maybe up all the calorie limits, maybe take a deliberate and finite vacation but work toward some exercise goal. Whatever, the important thing is to be intentional about what I choose--and not just sort of fade unconsiously away.

But for today, life is good and already things I've practiced are helping me out. For example, on Flavor Point days lunch is often a single small item.  Even though I'm sure I'll starve to death today, I can't help but notice that lunch is BOTH soup and TWO garlic parmesan cressants. Because of Flavor Point practice, I think I'll be ok today. I have a banana for a snack and also some 100 cal popcorn if I'm really dying. And tonight I'm trying a new Hungry Girl receipe--bacon cheeseburger casserole.  No diet can be too awful with bacon cheeseburger casserole right?  In short, I'll be fine today because of the things I've already learned even if the day is a stretch.

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