Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Wednesday, December 28, 2011

267 an example

Another thing that happened on my trip was to see my poor sister up close and personal. She's completely out of control in her weight and other things too.  Food-wise she was pretty unbelievable--pop, pop and more pop and cookies and candy and cake and chips pretty much around the clock. She ate very little of anything that I would consider real food. A burger and fries is about as real as it got.  Anyway, I was thinking about a better lifestyle for her and how unsatisfying it would be for her to give up pop or any of the treats. She isn't going to be happy with toning down her food. She doesn't WANT just one pop or just one or two treats a day.  The whole fun is to guzzle pop by the gallon and eat whatever she wants whenever she wants.  We have the same genetics--truly there but for the grace of God I go.  But it was oddly encouraging too in a selfish way. MY natural eating habits--even at their worst are MUCH better than hers. I'm not deprived or using will power.  On the contrary, I'd be very unhappy--not to mention sick, if I drank so much pop and ate so much sugar. I would WANT something different right away!! This gives me hope that someday, when I lose this weight that my habits will be better still and it won't be a matter of so much will power and always eating less than I want (which is how ww feels--always less than I want).  I will WANT more veggies, I will WANT more exercise and one cookie will be plenty--more would be unsatisfying and cloyingly sweet. blech.  But it IS a journey to get to that point, and until one gets to that point it IS profoundly unsatisfying. I dont WANT a wrap and 6 olives! I want a wrap and as many olives as I want and maybe some chips too and a cookie!  But someday, someday, someday I will WANT better things. I already do a little bit.

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