Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Monday, December 12, 2011

251 Calorie Count

I just love the calorie count website. I find it real and encouraging as opposed to weight watchers which makes me feel hostile. So why stick with ww?  Good question!!!! At the moment I am the most "off" I've been since April. It's surprising how quickly things unravel.  My exercise has been off because it's been so darn cold. But really---can this be overcome? YES!!! My food has been off because I'm bored with WW, and overwhelmed by life in general. Can this be overcome?  maybe?  I don't know. Maybe I'm rationalizing here, but I'm enjoying this break---it feels right somehow.  I don't mean that I'm enjoying it as a free for all food-fest. It really hasn't been that, though I HAVE been eating more and it's a little worrisome. Mostly, I've been feeling full and kind of NOT enjoying that feeling very much. I'm kind of mentally revving myself up for a Jan 1, renewal. I'm feeling more used to this weight in the high 180's and feeling as though the 170's and maybe even the 160's are no longer mystical fantasy numbers, but actually something that could be acheived--well, ok--the 160'a still feel mythical.  I'm looking forward to having classes, hawaii, and christmas behind me. I love all of those things, but I'm tired this year. I can't wait to not have every night filled with something.
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