Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Friday, December 2, 2011

241 Two thoughts

I was thinking yesterday I ought to write about boredom--and I will, for me it is the #1 diet killer. I wonder how people like Sean who start a diet and never stray can bear to stick to it? The bottom line is that the novelty of ANY plan has worn off while the novelty of food never wears off. More on this tomorrow--I wanted to put down something I learned yesterday before I forget it.

In psych I was talking with a student about soldiers and how nice kids can go off and not only kill the enemy, but also do all sorts of other horrible things.  She said in the Vietnam era (and probably today as well), they would show the soldiers terrible things by film and then immediatley afterward feed them a steak dinner or give them free access to prostitutes. Having those pleasurable experiences right after seeing awful things is a great way to break down moral fiber because soon seeing the bad things alone feels pleasurable. And there you go. You have someone who can do horrific things. The question is can I turn this to my advantage in a positive way? What can I find or do or think while I eat smaller portions that will be pleasurable that will NOT be there when I eat too much? How can I pair these up?  Maybe eating veggies can signal I'm about to have a good time in some way? How can I do that? I can't always take a walk or do something active after eating veggies because I'm at work. Could I stretch? Would I like that? I don't think it has to be a big thing--just some kind of happy reinforcement.

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