Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Friday, April 18, 2014

Stupid Scale

Why oh why do I do this to myself? Really, once a month weighing is MORE than enough for me. Actually, I'm doing great and feeling great, clothes are fitting better and even the evil scale reveals a 3 pound loss for April which my brain and good sense thinks is great. My emotions though, are annoyed. I feel thin. I'm hungry, and that's all I get??

Yes.  Weight loss is SLOW, slow, slow, slow, slow, and that's okay. Everyone says that clothes are a better measure anyway. Besides, it WAS my  birthday last week and I ate plenty, and I ate lots of cake on fast Sunday too. And yet, I'm still 3 pounds ahead. I should celebrate!!!  But not with food. YIKES!!! This upcoming week is a diet disaster! Worse, I've been feeling sick and so haven't earned any exercise calories at all!!!

Let's see---tonight there is a wedding reception
tomorrow is my harp recital which ends at lunchtime, which means we'll want to go out for lunch with Dad
Sunday is Easter--plus my family is making a special cake for me
Monday is cake with the Weber State president
Wednesday is a work potluck (the BEST)
Friday is Catherine's graduation--ice-cream afterward and a special dinner for her that night.

And lets not even discuss the leftovers that I'll be wanting!  Good grief! This is April I'll be keeping track, but I really don't think April is a particuarly difficult month.

So what am I going to do? I honestly don't know. For tonight, I've already told Dave that if we go to the reception, I'd prefer to eat someplace like Subways where it's a little easier to control the calories. Unless it's super good reception food, I can usually pass up wedding cake no problem.

Tomorrow--if we go to Famous Dave's I'm doomed. There is NOTHING healthful on that menu. Maybe I'll put my highest calorie day here--and even if lunch goes off the rails, I'll make a point to keep breakfast and dinner on track?

I'll try to earn some extra calories for Easter candy and cake--but I don't think I'll worry about Easter too much. We're having funeral potatoes which I love and that's worrisome because they are uber calorie dense, but I've already set Sunday aside as a day where I can eat where I'm satisfied at the main meal, and have 1 serving of dessert. I know I'll want more of that cake and some candy too. But I'll try to keep in under control and earn those calories.

Monday--I'll put my lowest calorie day here, so the cake won't throw my overall calorie intake too high. If possible, I'll only eat half. (that may or may not be psychologically possible depending on how good the cake is)

Wednesday is simply going to have to be a free day I think. Hopefully, I'll draw one of these out honestly. If not, I think I'll cheat and find one.

Friday, Not too hard--I'll aim to earn some calories, but I can manage a dish of ice-cream, and whatever we have for dinner.

How's that?  I honestly don't know. Does all this represent a real effort or just a whole lot of rationalizing? It's genuinely better than  a crazy food free for all.

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