Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Sunday, April 6, 2014

Conference

Feeling blessed in every way. A whole week and still going strong. :)  Yes, I would love more food. No, this isn't exactly easy, but I can feel the Lord's help in this. Actually, Lord's help isn't quite right. It's abundantly clear that I can't do this at all even with divine help. What the Lord is doing, is pretty much lifting this problem from me. My job is to not get in His way and let Him recreate my body and my life. So in a way, I'm "helping" Him--not the other way around. And my help is about as helpful as a two year "helping" to make dinner.  But that's ok. It's how the two year old learns. Eventually, I'll learn too.

Dave made a different kind of pancake this morning. Usually, I have no problem just eating one, but today that was tough. Realized, it's probably going to be more difficult in the future too, because I'm coming into breakfast hungrier.  No matter, one was enough.  Really delicious lunch of homemade bread with spinach dip, and I cleaned up my recipe collection yesterday and rediscovered the weight watcher truffles. YUM! Made a batch of those. They're tiny, but only 45 calories of dense chocolate yumminess.

I had meant to walk up to campus because I had to return a wii game to the library. But it was wet and cold and I was still a little tired from Friday's effort. So decided to call today a true day of rest. Feels like a smart decision, not just a cop out.  I love that in this life I can keep trying and trying again.  I love the saying that the road might be long, but it is always directly beneath our feet.

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