Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Sunday, April 13, 2014

Fast sunday

I love Fast Sunday. Not the least because of the freedom of the food in the evening. Oh dear. I think the day is supposed to be about something a bit more uplifting. In my defense, I did watch a beautiful video on lds.org and watched a conference talk too. Fast and testimony meeting was a blessing too. Dear little Emily Sohler (just 16 or 17 years old) said exactly what I badly needed to hear. The Lord is truly helping me in every way and I can trust that he"ll help those I love too.

I continue to be grateful that mine is "only" a 50 pound problem. This blog shows a net loss of about zero over the last three years. But on the other hand, I could have easily gained 50 instead. I feel hopeful about my new plan. But even if the things I learn only keep pace with the increased difficulty in weight loss as I get older, that's something. And perhaps in the resurrection the improved habits will rise with me and I'll have a better body than I was able to achieve in this lifetime.

I'm just a little worried about this weekend. I took my birthday off. But yesterday I had a large piece of cake and ice-cream, and that cake was made with extra butter. However, I did walk for two hours to off-set those calories. Tonight, I had a big dinner and more cake and ice-cream. Hopefully, the calorie count wasn't too outrageous. Tomorrow, I will cash in 1000 calories that I've earned.  I guess I'm just not sure that exercise really will offset food problems. But since I'm not yet willing to exercise too much self-control on "exception" days, I'll just do the best I can and see what happens.

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