Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.

The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!

Friday, February 13, 2015

Soup next week

Must make the zero point soup next week. I didn't this week, because I threw out a huge batch of it. But this week has been tough without it. Still, I'm hanging in there, and the weather has been so nice--weird February! that I've been able to walk to work. Let me carry on with my very inconsistent food journal. Yesterday was 1600.

2 slices Ezekiel bread with 1 TBL of peanut butter, milk
Snack: 13 mini rice cakes
Lunch 2 ww tortillas with a little horseradish, 1/2 slice swiss cheese each and a lot of veggies. dill pickles and 5 olives.
Dinner: One slice cowboy pizza. Salad with Ken's dressing
Evening dessert: 1 reeses heart and 25 cal hot chocolate.

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to deal with today. The challenge is that I've been asked to go to the monthly international student meeting which always includes ethnic food. Today is China. No possible way to track the calories. It's at 1:30 so I don't dare wait lunch that long. These can vary from small snacks to full meals. Do I have the discipline to just eat a little? I don't know! It's Chinese food!!!  I don't get Chinese food very often. I really can't handle Chinese buffets and the calorie count at panda express is so horrific that I don't there very often. And don't tell me to eat the vegetables and chow mein. Why bother going if I'm going to do that?

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