50 years and I'm STILL looking for loopholes. Since Jackson Hole, I really haven't been making much of an effort. I think I'm feeling that so many "legitmate" exceptions keep me from losing weight, it's really hard to even try at all. I've been phoning it in and not even that very well. Saturday was vegetarian, yes, I did that, but didn't make much effort to control anything. Sunday was supposed to be 1600--but I was too lazy to count and yesterday was memorial day with a barbecue.
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I really want to lose weight, I need to quit letting "exceptions" be more important than staying on track. For example, this week I have another local conference on Thursday and Friday. That means lunch and maybe snacks. I CAN make these "not counting but in control" days, if I REALLY mean it. Memorial Day COULD have been a counted day and I could have excercised extra to make up for the apple crisp I wanted. I want a big helping of pizza this Friday with cookies--and I'm lucky enough that I CAN have it.
What's the PROBLEM???? Fear for starters. I'm tired of trying with no results. I don't want to lose a little weight only to turn around and put it back on. BUT---losing a lot of weight starts with losing a little weight first. I can't change my habits without actually changing my habits. I need to stop worrying about failure--I'm still alive. I haven't failed yet. Even if I fail somewhat each and every day isn't it still worth the fight? I think so.
Today is tomato day. I walked around for about an hour. The "walk" was really a very slow stroll as I practiced my presentation, but it's still worth 100 cal and I'm going to write that 100 cal down. I'm doing well. I'm glad tomorrow is not flavor point. I'm still feeling annoyed and discouraged, but I'm not quitting yet.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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