Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Wednesday, March 5, 2014

What to change?

Love Sean and 300 pounds down--so inspiring.  I'm still thoroughly annoyed that I haven't lost weight or inches or anything. The mind is a weird thing--suddenly I'm SURE that 1500 cal per day isn't going to be so hard! Sean did it for more than two years! I can do it!  UHHH  49 years of evidence to the contrary!!!

I need some clear thinking.  I do NOT want to condition my body to live on some insanely low calorie amount. I do NOT want to make a huge effort for nothing. I do NOT want to stay this same weight!!!!

What works about this latest plan of mine is that I can control myself today so long as I don't have to control myself in the same way tomorrow. Also, there are some days of rest from the whole thing. I like the variety and randomness. How can I retain these things but yet ramp down the food and ramp up the exercise enough that I can lose weight?

Ideas--

I am willing to exercise more. Particularly to run the zombie half marathon.
Friend suggests hanging onto whatever plan for 3 days--I'm thinking a week or even a month?
Maybe really do the Hungry Girl diet when it comes out if it sounds good.
Somehow blend calorie count days--specifically, 1800 cal with the occasional day or meal or treat off? How can I do this without having things spiral completely out of control?
I like occasionally being "told" what to eat. What if I created my own days like this with food that I really eat?
Randomness--foods around the world, fancy dessert, fancy cheese, appetizer, new recipe, chips and dip.
higher protein--lower carbs--protien each meal
I like the "high protein" "vegetarian" etc days, but maybe I could have Dave or Catherine portion out what I eat? Clearly, I'm eating too much.
1500-2100 must be too big of a range. Alas---most days should be 1700 or 1800 hundred (simply not willing to go lower)
Frozen days?  Silly, but a day of frozen foods with salads---easy, quack and within range. hmmm maybe not.

How can I manage work treat days? Wanting to eat huge meals out? Giant bowls of popcorn and cheese with chocolate milk? Pizza nights? Huge portions of my favorite brownies?

Pizza--every other week english muffin pizzas?
Huge meals on Free or meal off days---what's the balance here? Often enough so I believe they will happen but not so often as to wreck things.
Frequent "small" portions of the popcorn and brownie fix, with the very occasional free pass for a huge one?

What if, like now, I'm just flat out super hungry? How can I "honor my hunger" without habitually adding several hundred calories to my day?
Maybe a weekly "stash" of limited things like bananas, beef jerky and 100 cal popcorn?  cup o soups only have 50 cal.  These will all be considered "free food" and I could eat them all on the same day--but if I do, they're gone till next week?  Or, all veggies are free?  Veggies never seem to really fill me up though.

Rather than truly random--should I just plan out a week in advance according to what's going on? Could I honestly anaylize whether I'm feeling strong--or whether I need some free days? I'm thinking I probably can't.

Maybe plan out the treats a month in advance so I'm not having three or four weight killing "treats" every week?  But Bob says, "give me six good days."  I think I'd abuse that--with six so so days and a free day. Won't work.  "small treats" can work within a calorie budget.

Whatever I do, I need to be sure to use olive oil--my body really responds well to that.

No comments:

Post a Comment