Wow. I'm in the throws of addiction today and therefore do NOT want to write. But I think that I'd better. I was feeling so good yesterday. I did great. The flavor point portobello mushrooms were good, but not as yummy as the hungry girl receipe. I went to bed and woke up feeling slim and healthy. And then I put on a shirt. I still have it on under my sweater--but didn't this shirt used to be loose?? It's tight across the chest. And because of that I feel fat and worried that these efforts won't do a bit of good.
So I'm trying even harder to be moderate today right? HA!! That is what a normal person would do. I just finished some flat out addictive eating. Today is a FREE day. So food-wise, I can have whatever I want and it's technically ok. I made today the free day because this morning is our office Christmas breakfast (always very good) and tonight is our RS Christmas dinner.
I don't regret the Christmas breakfast. It was a buffet and I ate too much bacon and I also ate a crossaint that I didn't want. Okay. It's a free day and it's Christmas time, so I'm willing to cut myself a little slack. What wasn't ok was lunch.
It was 2:30 and I still wasn't hungry. But I brought a pizza pocket (love those) and olives (love those) and a bag of grapes and cheese chunks (been craving those) with crackers. I love all those things, and now that I've eaten them I remember that I could have eaten them tomorrow or the next day (whichever is the ice-cream diet day). But I'd been looking forward to them today, and I wanted them today. So like a little toddler who can't wait for anything I ate them today even though I wasn't hungry! THAT is the behavior that gets me into trouble. It shouldn't be that hard to resist, but it IS!
I'd like to think that I'll be moderate at tonight's dinner. If the food's not very tempting I might be. But if it's at all good I'm sure I'll gobble it down.
This IS partly in response to the knowledge that the next two days will be lean ones--a flavor point and the ice-cream (eat 1250 cal and a bowl of ice-cream) day, so there's an element of last supper eating going on.
Next time, I'm faced with a lunch or dinner I planned on but was not hungry for, I'm going to make an effort to get online here and write out when I CAN have it. Maybe that will help me to stop.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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