Add another party to the April list---a tenure party at the end of the month to celebrate Dave. I fear I might have to use some self-control soon. I'm blessed to have such a happy life!!
Yesterday was great. But it's another testament to the fact that you can't fool the body. I don't care how big the meal is, if the calories aren't there, I know it. For dinner I had:
A big hard roll, with hummus, grilled veggies and 1 ounce of cheese, 2 baby dill pickles, 42 pretzel sticks, 1/4 cup of onion dip and a huge pear. All this was slightly under 600 cal. I was fine, but could easily have eaten 3 times as much. But it feels great to be doing well. My pants are a little looser today and my face feels thinner. I earned 300 cal of exercise yesterday too. I'm in "the zone." Which is good, but also scary because I haven't really built the safety net yet.
One of the problems with dieting, is that it separates me from true hunger. True, I ignore hunger equally when I'm not dieting--I just eat all the time, but it's a problem if I'm not at least eating in response to real hunger enough because then I'm more likely to suddenly snap out of the zone. For example, today I have a delicious big lunch planned (buffalo chicken, with salad and blue cheese and a bagel), so I had a light breakfast of a Jimmy Dean's breakfast sandwich. I nuked it, but left the house without it. Dave was so sweet--he came running after me with it. Of course I wanted it, but I'm semi-used to being unsatisfied so I didn't even notice that I hadn't had any breakfast. That's a dangerous place to be.
Maybe an acceptable to me "safety zone" could be what I'm planning to do on Hungry Girl days. Her plan is just a little too calorie low for me, so I've deliberately added extras to the plan to bring it up to around 1500-1600 cal. Maybe I can still "pretend" I'm strictly following the plan as is--but deliberately add what I need to if I need a rest? That way, I'm still aware--I'm still trying--I won't be losing weight, but I'll be able to eat a little more in a hopefully responsible way and hopefully hold the line until I'm ready to take the next plunge downwards. Still need to think about this.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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