Calories are more flexible than I think. Sometimes (most times), it feels as though I can hardly eat anything before the calories are all used up. Other days it's astonishing how much food I can pack into a calorie limit. You'd think then, I'd track those abundant days and eat like that all the time right? Well, no. Although I always try to make healthy choices, I usually simply want to eat what I want and I'd much rather eat a small amount of whatever that is, than eat a larger amount of some substitute. So, no snacks today. Bummer.
It's a yummy food day nonetheless, even without snacks. I knew I'd want a solid breakfast. The plan was to get up when the alarm went off and get ready quickly so I could enjoy my food. I'm the world's slowest eater, but I usually have to inhale breakfast or eat on the run because I don't like getting up in the morning. Not even close today. I didn't get up and I didn't want to rush so I didn't. Dave offered to take me to work and I jumped at it. Today is 1700 cal, and the idea is to have 500 for breakfast and lunch and then 700 for dinner. Ok. But even though what I'm eating sounds large-ish, it looks and feels small to me. Thank goodness for gum. Here's the menu--
Breakfast:
A jimmy-dean breakfast sandwich
a big banana with PB2 peanut butter
milk with quik for chocolate milk.
Lunch:
chicken with Frank's buffalo sauce
salad
white tortilla (weird this--I actually prefer whole wheat, Catherine likes white and we get it for her sometimes, but I hardly ever touch it. Except last night. It had to be white. Maybe that's my inner junk-foodie demanding a fix. So long as it doesn't become a habit, fine.
1/4 cup blue cheese crumbles
Dinner--not exactly planned yet, but will have a Hungry girl chocolate chip scone, a huge omelete, bacon and maybe some fried potatoes if I have the calories for it.
So---hardly starving, but it feels small. But the good thing is that this is good practice. I want to get to the place where I eat some ONE thing--a wrap or sandwich or whatever, and I realize that I've just had a perfectly fine lunch. Every meal does NOT need to be a full blown feast. It doesn't need to be a sandwich AND chips AND a pickle AND a fruit AND some milk AND a pop AND some cookies. Honest. Provided the sandwich is reasonably healthy--a sandwich is ok. If fruit and a pickle show up--great, but truly, one item is ok.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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