Hope makes all the difference. I'm a little hungry today, but it's okay, because I COULD, if I wanted to, eat anything I wanted---I have the calories saved up. But I don't want to. I want to eat in the wildcat room on Monday, and I want to eat Pizza on Friday and I really feel as though I CAN and it will be all right. I'll be able to easily save up 1,000 for Monday even though I can't work out extra tonight because I have to go to SLC. I had wellness time at work so I at least earned 150. Tomorrow and Saturday I'll be able to get what I need for the 1000. Then for Friday, whatever I earn on Friday will be used that day for PIZZA!! YAY! I spoken many times about "exceptions" I swear, they happen almost daily---but I finally feel as though I have an effective way to deal with them.
Best of all, even if I don't lose weight, I still feel as though I'm doing my body good. After all, all this effort is at least preventing me from gaining weight very fast. But I think I am and will lose weight this way. Feeling a bit hungry usually means that I'm losing weight. Today I've had fun food---somehow those delicious enchiladas that Catherine made just don't sound all that great--I think it's the tortilla---maybe I'll throw out the tortilla and have them with fresh homemade corn chips tomorrow instead. That sounds much better.
Today, I had a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich, a banana and milk. Then for lunch I had--31 gorgonzola crackers from Trader Joe's, 6 olives, 2 string cheeses, 6 slices of ham, a cup of soup and best of all, one of those reeses peanut butter eggs.
Dinner will be great too. I only earned $5.25 in March. I gave Catherine the cash and told her to buy me a treat. She did great! Fancy bread and brie. That will be dinner tonight!!
Tomorrow is ice-cream diet day. Classic quack diet stupidity. No way I'd want to do this for more than a day, but I'm looking forward to it tomorrow, because the butter-pecan ice-cream has been in the fridge since Saturday. SO---1200 cal, then a big dish of ice-cream. I'm thinking of an egg-white omelete and some light toast for breakfast--that's going to be under 200, then I've already planned for stuffed portobello's for dinner--I think I can add either some spaghetti squash, or cabbage salad or both for practically nothing. That will leave me quite a bit to have a satisfying lunch. I'm thinking it will be ok to have a light dinner because the ice-cream will shortly follow and that will fill me up both in body and spirit. You simply can't fool the body. All these websites that talk about how much brocolli you can have for almost nothing? True. But if you tried to fool yourself by eating 6 cups of brocolli for lunch and nothing else, your body would know that it hadn't had enough calories and would complain. At least mine would.
Anyway, then it's Friday with hopefully good weather so I can go hiking, then a nice pizza dinner.
This is tough. But it's a tough I can tolerate. I've decided that finding a plan to deal with obesity is the same as finding any other medication to help any other disease. You simply have to figure out what the patient can tolerate.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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